[Yellowrose]

I’ve been happily dating my boyfriend for roughly three years now. We’ve had our ups and downs, but always seemed to work through them. Up until about the beginning of this year, our sexual relationship was great. Now it seems like every time I try to be sexual with him, he changeds the subject. This is very strange behavior for him. I feel very insecure about it. Does he not love me anymore? I asked him about it, and he said he just doesn’t feel very lustful anymore. He says he rather show affection. While this is great, what man turns down sex? Am I that bad? What could I have done to turn him off so much? I love him, and he says he loves me. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Confused

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[Yellowrose]

He’s 23 and I’m 22

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the age information. At your ages, sex shouldn’t be an issue, so either he’s got some health problem that he’s not telling you about or not dealing with — or he’s interested in someone else (or is already dating them). Normally, 23 year old guys like to have sex, often. Are there any other changes in the relationship besides sex? You’re right to be concerned. If everything else between you is fine, then you should talk to him about seeing a physician because of the change in his behavior. Offer to go with him. At the same time, you can look at your part in the relationship. Have you changed in the three years that the two of you have been dating? Lots of women take the relationship for granted and let themselves go…. see if you can get your seductive self back in gear and be super sexy so he’s more interested than he’s been. Also, look at other changes in the relationship for clues to his behavior. Have the two of you been undergoing stress? Has he — beyond your relationship? When someone is stressed at work, or from family, or any other place, sex drives can suffer.

Let me know if you have any other questions, or if there’s anything else I can help with. 🙂

[Member]

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