[Styropane]

How should a man handle a woman who stares at other men excessively. Recently when having drinks, I caught the girl I’m seeing and her friend staring at each other. I’m not talking about 2 or 3 minutes, it was at least a half hour. She says there’s nothing to it, I say it’s disrespectful, demeaning and grossly crossing the line of harmless flirting. So far it’s happened with two different friends. The first time, I asked her if I was in her way since she’s obviously forgotten who she was there with. The second time, I had a serious talk with her about it. Again she said I was overreacting. If it happens again, she’s gone. Am I overreacting, or is she right and this is harmless flirting. While she is a bartender, and innocent flirting with friends/customers does increase tips, I think this is grossly overboard. Please settle this argument. We are mid 30’s.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re focusing on who’s right and who’s wrong. 😕 Change your focus to what’s right for [i]you[/i]. 😉

Decide whether this is someone you really like and want to continue seeing. Frankly, from what you’re telling me, she’s making you very uncomfortable and you have an incompatibility in the way you treat people. Since you haven’t invested much time dating her so far, I don’t see why you’d waste any more time seeing her in the future. You haven’t mentioned other great quantities about her, and it sounds like this isn’t one teeny, little thing that a fabulous new woman is doing — it sounds like she’s really annoying you! 😕

If you have been kind and interested enough to take her out on a date, and she’s focusing more on other people than on you, the guy who’s buying her drinks, then she’s not that into you, and she’s not very polite. Find a woman who enjoys and values you, instead. 😉

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