[cdub11]

Hi, im really lost on how to handle my current relationship. Iv been with my boyfriend for almost a year,we are crazy about each other and we really see a future together. He makes me very happy but sense day 1, we have a had a small problem that is still occurring.
Before we dated,we were very close friends, when he started having feelings for me, i wasn’t on the same page. i wasn’t interested in him in that way,so he thought going on a date with another girl would get my attention,and it did. I cant say i started having feelings right away but it made me know what i wanted. He took that one girl out and they made out,but after a few weeks i told him my feelings and he backed off her and came to me because that’s what he wanted all along. This girl,Ashley that he had kinda used to get my attention started having very strong feelings for him. They only went out once and made out once. He did not share those feelings for her but she continued to have them for him.
For the past 11 months she has been a big issue in our relationship because my boyfriend and i don’t look at the situation in the same way. She is always crying to him about how sad she is that she cant have him, and how much she cant stand to have me around. He has a very good heart and would always blame himself for this,because if it wasn’t for him dong what he did,she wouldn’t feel the way she does. So he feels obligated to talk to her and make her happy. They happen to work together so it is very hard to cut ties without any problems arising, i know he would never cheat on me,but sometimes its still very frustrating to be with him when all he does is text her,and when im around her she is all over my boyfriend,he tells her to stop but i am being completly honest, i think something might be wrong with her. She does not like us together and she wants nothing more that for her to get her way. He calls her a friend but its almost as if he has another girlfriend,she causes him so many problems and stress its ridiculous. She tries to get close with his friends to get under his skin and to find out how our relationship is,she is very conniving and she treats him like garbage, when she gets upset about him not having her way she takes it out on him,she curses at him and tells him how bad of a person her is. He went over to talk to her the other day and she tried to kiss him, he pushed her away and told her that was stupid of her to even try because she knows where they stand and she knows that he is happy with me. This is going ot sound crazy but,my boyfriend graduated from San Diego state in June and he is planning to move out of his place to move in with some friends, but these friends just happen to consist of “ashley”. Hes planning on signing a lease on September first to live with ashley and 4 other friends. I got very upset when i found this out because of this girls intentions, but his current living situation is not a good one and this place they want to move into is an amazing deal and he needs a place fast. I don’t want to be/sound selfish,but i keep telling myself it wont be healthy for me to continue with him if he moves in with her. if i were to ever come over she would make an effort to sit him down after i left to cry to him about how sad it makes her to see us happy together,i really just don’t think either of us should have to put up with that. I think there problems are only going to get worse once they movie in with each-other, iv sat him down and told him if this is really what he wants then do it,but i asked him to think about it and i also told him i don’t know what would happen with us. I told him how much it scared me. I’m so lost on what to do, i don’t know how i can make him see it through my eyes. Iv tried everything with this girl,but she still hates me and wants nothing more than to get her way. how do i handle this situation? Should i not be upset because i know he doesn’t have feelings for her, am i being crazy?sometimes i feel like i might be.I really want to work through this but i don’t know how to start. Please let me know if you have any advice.im really leaving allot out,but sometimes he just doesn’t see how the way he treats her isn’t how he should be treating her, he baby’s her and there’s only so much you can do before she miserable again because in the end…they still wont end up together.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry you feel so lost. It must be awful to be in love with someone who disregards your feelings. 😳 It really seems like your boyfriend isn’t being very considerate of you, and the fact that he’s now planning to move into an apartment where this woman will be one of his roommates should be the last straw.

If you put the focus where it belongs (not on this other woman, but on your boyfriend), what you’ll see is that you’ve got a guy who isn’t committing to you in a meaningful way. He’s putting himself first. This doesn’t bode well for a future, and mature love means making sacrifices for a relationship — something he isn’t ready to do for yours.

My advice is let go and move on. I know you’re hurt because there is a lot about him that you love — but the bottom line is that there isn’t enough. This situation is a deal breaker. You can do a lot better — and you will! 😉

I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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