She’s not just an ex-girlfriend. She’s the mother of his child, and so she is always going to be in his life. That means if you’re going to be with him, she’s going to be a part of your life, too, as will his son. I’m not sure how old you are, or what your dating/marriage history is, or whether you have kids of your own, but dating a single parent is different than dating an adult without children. The kids and their parents and step-parents become part of your extended circle, and can be a bonus, as well as a complication.
His 11 p.m. visit to her house sounds highly suspicious, and it’s pretty clear he’s not over her, in spite of their break up — and I’m not clear on how long ago that was.
You got involved pretty quickly — moving in together after five months might have been too soon for you to have gotten to know whether or not he’s someone you really want to be that invested in or not. But since you did, you now have to do some soul searching about whether or not you can really be with someone in the long-term who is going to have a relationship with his ex and their child.
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