[Reject17]

So i have this problem I guess. Jjst lookin for some advice. Let me start from the beggining.

I met this girl Nicole a while ago when i started working at this job. Turns out i use to bully her when i was in middle school. She remembered me bjt I didnt. But when i noticed her I was stunned. Shes really tall like 6’2 and shes really georgous. We talked and found out we had alot in common amd I started developing feelings for her. Shes straight edge and she knsows i smoked pot and smoked cigs and drank and she doesnt like it but we ended up liking each other. I really liked her. Turns out it was mutual. Shes not like the other girls. Shes smart funny, awesome, and she understands me. We went out on a date and I asked her tp be my girlfriend and she said she wanted to get to know me better. She said it wasnt a no or yes but she wanted to have a little more time. She even called me amazing. I opened up to her with no problem which i usually have with people. But after that day we didnt talk much about it ever again. Some time went by and I ended up dating her best friend for like a week which bothered her. I felt horrible abput it and tried to keep it seperate from work. Well her friend and I split and it was whatever. But things between Nicole and I were awkward as it wpuld be.

Well the place we both worked at closed and we didnt talk. We just started talkin and we kind of got into an argument about how I dont want to change and about how I dont know her. So i broke down and told her this

Her: you think this is about winning or being right? You dont know me at all.

Me: Did i say that. And ur right i dont. But i tried didnt i. I tried to get close to you and tried to get to know you. And i fucked it up. Ya know i wish i could go back and do things differently. Just restart it and go back to when i had that slim chance to know you. Maybe id do things differently an things would have changed maybe it wouldnt of. But when i tried that was the first time in a long damn time i tried to do something positive. And I tanked. So i dont know you now i dont know a damn thing about you. But you know me. Okay i fucked up. I still beat the shit outta myself for not doing the right thing When it came to you. Ok there i said it. Every time at work when i looked depressed it was because i was thinkin abput fuckin up when it came to you. Ok there I said it.

And it stemed from that to me asking for a second chance. I said it was up to her and she said we’ll figure it out. Normally with other girls that would be a no but with Nicole i know she’d think about it.

So i went to my boys house today to vent and shoot the breeze with him. And i started talking about Nicole. And The more I talked the more I sounded insane. I mean i think i might love this girl. When I hung with her i was nervous. My knees were weak an my palms were sweaty. Even texting her last night all of it i was nervous and stuff. I mean when im with her or even talking to her I dont think about sex or whatd she look like naked When im with her I just want to know more about her. I want to listen to what she has to say. Im interested in her mind equally if not more than her beauty. Mind you im 17 so thatll probably change your opinion on this. But Id rather spend 5 minutes with her than any amount of time with any other girl. Id do whatever it took to not only be with her but just to get a second chance to show her I really like her. I know I have to start back to square one but thats fine with me. I have genuin feelings for her. I never told her any of that because A) i dont want to freak her out. And B) you just dont tell someone that. I mean how do you love someone when youve spent only a little time with thwm and talk to them here and there. I really like this girl and I really care about her. Id pretty much do anything. Stop smokin weed which im tryin to do. Stop smoking cigarettes an drinking (I rarely drink)

Im just confused about what to do, what can I do what cant I do. What should I say, or not say, will I freak her out will it be good or bad. I dont know. My friend said something to me that made alot of sence. “Its easy to find a girl you want to F*ck but its hard to find a girl you care about.” And I care about her alot. I dont know what to do. Help please.

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like the reason she pulled away from you is because you dated her best friend for a week while you were interested in her. 😕 You’re pretty clear that you screwed up by doing this, and now you have to find a way to make her feel that that screw up was a one time indiscretion and won’t happen again. This won’t occur overnight. It’s going to be a process you have to undertake and embrace.

My advice is stop dwelling on the mistake and focus on what’s good between the two of you. Invite her to do things that she’d love to do. Send her a single rose, a love letter, bring her coffee or a muffin, take her on a picnic — in other words, try to win her over with your behavior, and think forward, not backwards. The more the two of you rehash what’s bad, the more that the relationship, or what’s left of it, will be about the bad stuff. You have to start building with an eye towards the future with her. 😉

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