[karamovski]

I am 23 years old my ex girlfriend is 21 years old.
We have been together for the past 2 years and our relation was nothing but a very happy one.

When we met i had trust issues so my ex broke contact with all her male friends, she used to love partying but she never went to a party without me for 2 years.
When we met she wasnt romantic at all, few months later she became like a baby, very romantic, very carind and kind. She always tells me how much she loves me and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
Shes never lied to me.
To cut this short, few months before our breakup she said that shes not feeling the same, when i agreed for a break she contacted me the second day saying shes sorry and its better if we try to enhance our relation.
We tried for a while and then she told me its over.
The reasons are: 1- i ask a lot and im always jealous.
2- i always get negative, if we were someplace dancing and she looks at another man i keep on asking her stuff.
3- i comment on her clothes a lot, why are you wearing so sexy today?
4- i wasnt man enough and i realized that after the break up. For example if she has a remarque i get angry a lot and sometimes if out foght got worse i cry from time to time
5- i dedicated my life to her and work, she used to tell me that she loves it if i have some girl friends to go out with and be socially active and not just dedicate my life to her.

Anyways after we broke up she told me there is no way that she can or she will contact me bsck its definetly over… I was so needy then i contacted her thousands of times with no answer. One day i insisted to call her and she answered ot seems one of her friends lie dto her about something so we added her on the call and agter we finished my ex told me she is sorry she beleived her but her decision stands its over, nows he knows the truth snd thats all she needed to know,she said no more contact and bye.
Few minites later she unblocked me whatsapp and said i just wanted to check if ur ok and thats it we will not talk anymore. Few minutes later she called me and spoke to me and laughed as if nothing happened and att he end of the conversation told me that there is no way for us to go out.
The second day we went out and she toldm e that there is no way for us to go out a second time, this was just so that our breakup will not be in a bad way.
On valentines day which was 3 days later i called her and took her out for a dinner and i told her that i spoke woth her friends and we are about to go to party all together but then i told her im not going i will just take u there and leave, her eyes started crying in a way and she said there is no way for her to go wothout me.
Few minutes later her friends apologized that they are not able to come, when i told her that she was so happy and she saod thats better maybe we can spend tome together.
We went there at 10 pm we stayed till 4 am dancing and we were really close to each other.
Before sendong her home i asked her are we bsck together she said no but let us try and be close to each other again and i agreed.
The second day i started talking to her ands he answered the third day she answered me less.
The 4th day barely no answer at all
The 5th day she said u are putting so much pressure oncme its over do not try to talk to me again.
It has been 1 and a half month since that time i sent her many messages with no reply.
The problem is im sure she loves me so much .
I wanna get back to her:(

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know you want to get her back, and the door does seem to be cracked open but my advice is to play it cooler than you have been. Check in with her weekly — not daily or every couple of days each week. Invite her out to do things once a week, or once every two weeks — don’t keep up the drum beat (and the anxiety about whether you’ll get back together and where she is, emotionally and physically). I know this will be difficult, but if you play it cool and give her a chance to miss you, you’ll have better luck. 😉

[karamovski]

The thing is there is no way to talk to her now, i am blocked on whatsapp even true caller and im sure. She will not go out with me since its been only 15 days since the last time i was pushy, dont u think i should give her more time? I really have to know how to act amd what to do:( i miss her so much its gettimg harder and harder and i know she loves me so much and loved me so much i just need to know what i have to do in order to win her back and not be that pushyperson again

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like this is news that she’s blocked you on several social media applications. 🙁 I didn’t know that last time you wrote. Given this new information, I think you should move on and find other women to date. You already know the reasons she broke up with you — you seem to be very self aware when you listed them in your first post. Maybe you can work on these control issues — they’re probably going to show up in any relationship you’re in, in some form, and that gives you opportunities to see if you deal with them with a new awareness and new arenas.

I’m sorry this is disappointing.

[Sally]

I know how badly you want to believe she still loves you. I really do. But reading this, it sounds like she already said goodbye in every way she knew how.
She didn’t leave because she stopped caring overnight. She left because the relationship stopped feeling safe and light for her. The jealousy, the control, the pressure that stuff wears someone down, even when there’s love underneath it.

The back-and-forth after the breakup wasn’t hope. It was her trying to ease out without hurting you more, and you kept reaching because you weren’t ready to let go. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. But it did push her further away.

Right now, the only chance of anything changing is stopping completely. No messages. No convincing. No proving. Not to get her back but to get yourself steady again.
Love can exist and still be over. And I know that hurts like hell.

[Tara]

You didn’t “lose” this relationship, you strangled it to death with insecurity, control, and emotional dependence, and now you’re rewriting the story to avoid facing that. You didn’t love her in a healthy way; you managed her, monitored her, questioned her, policed her clothes, isolated her from friends, and made your emotional stability her full-time job. That isn’t devotion that’s suffocation.

She didn’t slowly fall out of love; she burned out. She told you repeatedly, clearly, and explicitly that it was over, and every time you ignored her boundaries, chased harder, begged more, and proved exactly why she was done. Every message you sent after she said “don’t contact me” didn’t bring her closer it pushed her further away and killed whatever respect was left.

She does not want you back. She does not secretly want you. She is not confused. The crying, the dancing, the laughing that was nostalgia and habit, not commitment. She gave you closure opportunities and you turned them into pressure campaigns.

You keep saying “I’m sure she loves me,” but love is irrelevant when trust is dead and attraction is gone. What she sees now is not a man who grew she sees the same jealous, needy, emotionally unstable person who refuses to accept reality. And crying, begging, and insisting you know her feelings better than she does is not romantic it’s delusional.

[Nick Roy]

Oh, brother, you know that girls don’t tolerate restrictions.
So, you should focus on yourself. You said that you used to control her. This is not love; it is insecurity. Until you fix your happiness, no girl will be happy with you.
If this girl has blocked you, stop chasing her, go to the gym, meet friends, and improve yourself.
As AskApril said, you should move on and date other girls, and work on your control issues so you don’t make this mistake in the next relationship.

[Member]

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