Hello. I’m kind of having a dilemna and I just don’t know exactly what to do at this point. So me and this girl are talking, we’re both in our early twenties and have known each other for a few months dating back to November 2015. When we first started talking she was in a complicated relationship with her ex boyfriend, which then she eventually just cut me off. So we didn’t talk for about 2 months. Then she reached back out to me late february saying she apologized for cutting me off for her ex boyfriend because they broke up. So from late february to now we’ve been talking. Unfortunately we’re not in state. She lives in Utah and I live in California but I’m visiting family in Ohio for the next few week then I’m headed back out to California. We’ve just facetimed a lot in the last month and I’m really starting to dig her. We have a lot in common and she’s really intelligent on top of attractive. I’ve been through a lot of bad relationships with girls wasting my time and I don’t want to go through that again with this girl. She’s still really hurt & broken up over her relationship ending a month ago. She’s opened up to me and told me everything about it, which is probably making some of you think I’m already friendzoned. I asked her upfront if she could see us dating and she said she definitely could. But obviously it would take some time since she’s not over the break-up.
I asked her if she still talks to her ex and she said she does not anymore but they still have the same groups of friends so they occasionally see each other at functinos. He treated her really poorly and was constantly putting her down and being a hypocrite about things which ultimately led to their breakup. He’s now out doing his thing dating and talking to other girls while she is still heart broken and upset over how he treated her.
So now finally my question is, should I believe her when she says she could see us dating? She’s considering moving to California for school sometimes this year over summer/fall. But if she does not she will remain in Utah which isn’t terrible far but I guess it would still be considered long distance. She’s told me a lot of positive things about wanting to get to know me and date in the future but I don’t know if she’s just string me along because I give her attention that she’s not getting from her ex anymore.
What should I do? In the past I’ve been very impatient with these type of situations and I always ended up ruining things before they even had a chance to go anywhere. So I’m wondering if I should continue to just do what I’m currently doing and allow her to see the good qualities in me that she didn’t get with her ex.
I really don’t like having my time wasted anymore when it comes to girls and if I’m going to be friendzone I would just like to know upfront and keep it pushing so I don’t get too deepily involved with feelings.
Any advice?
Thank you & I’m sorry this was so long.
