[Silbey]

Dear April,
I have an interesting dilemma that has been plaguing me for the last couple of weeks. First the backstory: I have been dating my girlfriend since second year university. Now I am in grad school and she moved back home and finished teachers college. So we have been dating for 7 years but our relationship has been long distance for about 4 years now- But we see eachother every other weekend.
However, recently, I met a girl who I went out to dinner with and things got a little heated and we kissed/made out when we got back to my place. Ever since that night I now have doubts about my relationship with my current girlfriend- although nothing has gone wrong- I just feel distanced and I cant figure out why. The other girl and I have cooled things down since she also has a boyfriend and wants to be with him. Although it seems like I still have some feelings for her? Is it just infatuation?
It’s not about the other girl right now- although for some reason that night is sticking in my head and I think it affecting me to the point where I am making it affect my current relationship.

Any advice on what I should do or why I am doubting my current relationship which up until this point was great.

Thanks,
Silbey

[April Masini, your AskApril]

There’s nothing to suggest that your recent date was infatuation. It sounds like you were either lonely because your girlfriend is out of town, or else you’re interested in exploring other options after dating your girlfriend of seven years. I think you chose someone to cheat with who has a boyfriend so you could know that she was “safe” and that your relationship with your long term girlfriend wasn’t really at risk. But now that that fling is out of the way, you’re questioning your motives.

Sometimes an infidelity like this will either cause you to realize your long term girlfriend is “the one” and it’s time to stop dating and start marrying — or else it can cause you to question being tied down for seven years to someone you really don’t want to marry because you’d like to know what else is out there.

Without a lot of information from you, it sounds like it’s the latter. 😕

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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