[sllr1215]

We were together for 7 years until we broke it off as a couple we already had one child. He would go out late at night and come home until 2 in the morning. So one time i wanted to take a mini vacations and he wanted to go to his friends so workers party so he said no. I was mad and wouldn’t talk to him. Than he would leave with a guy friend and come home late and use the excuse that i wouldn’t talk to him. One night he left saying he was going to a guy friends house and i found out he went out with a girl at night. I couldn’t take it no more we ended our relationship. Than we decided to try to make it work. we ended up with a second child. Still our relationship was no good. so we have not been together but we live together with our sons. Now he wants to leave on a vacation on is own, should i be mad. Does he not have a responsibility as a father. What should i do?

[AskApril Masini]

You should be mad — but not at him. 😕 He’s been pretty consistent for the seven years you’ve been together, and you keep trying to talk yourself into thinking that things will change. And they don’t. At some point you’ll realize that he’s not interested in monogamy over the long run and if you are, you’ll find someone who is. He’s not that guy. So, yes — be mad, but not at him. Be mad that you’re not choosing guys who are interested in what you are, which is commitment, loyalty and monogamy. He does have a responsibility to his children, but it doesn’t sound like he’s letting them down. Just you. 😳

I’m really sorry that this is difficult. Whenever we try to make something work, and it doesn’t work, and we keep trying and failing over and over again, pretty much any one of us reading this will get angry. But we’re really angry at ourselves. 😉 The ball is in your court. It’s your move.

[Member]

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