[DilianneR]

We broke up 3 week relationship because his ex is pregnant. He cried – said he did not want to leave me he has a better future with me but he can’t let her raise the baby alone with her family (always drunk & helpless & she is also unemployed)
On Friday he Took her for test. She had cheated on him but almost sure its his baby because she was always with him that week.
He told me that his life is ruined he has to stay with his ex for baby’s sake. He has no alternative, her parents sacked her out of their house because they wouldn’t accept his baby.
Now, moved in with him and he doesn’t want to sleep with her, he says he can’t love her again.
He wants us to be best friends & to still meet, he texts me daily. He called me, said he loves me, he regrets he had to leave me. Hewants me to visit him today. I said we should stop seeing each other to forget me and start a relationship with his ex but he Said no.
I I can’t stand that we are just friends now especially seeing him unhappy doesn’t help me move on to a less dramatic life with someone else.
Should I stay friends with him and wait or quit and move on? I really don’t want to loose the chance of getting him back. He told me he would not harm the baby but if she looses the baby he will leave her and come back to me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

From your pre-posting questionnaire, I can see that you are 32 and you were dating this other guy who is 34 for only three weeks. You guys broke up because his 22 year old ex-girlfriend learned she was pregnant, and it is probably your ex’s baby, so he has moved in with her, and is going to try and make a family with her and the baby. The only good thing in all this is that the two of you were only dating for three weeks. I’m sure you’re upset about this, but can you imagine if this happened after three years?! Three weeks is a pretty small time investment in a relationship, so if you look at this from another angle, you’re lucky that it’s a super short term relationship failure, and not a more painful, long-term commitment. 😉

That said, the less you see your ex, the sooner you’ll get over the break up. Remaining “best friends” isn’t going to work for you, and I don’t think you should even try that. You’re not friends — you are exes from a romantic relationship. It’s too difficult to make that work now that he’s rejected you and moved on with his pregnant ex, and is trying to make himself feel better by keeping you in his game. Because of your history together friendship is not a good solution. So make the break clean and move on. It will hurt for a while, but you’ll feel single, soon enough and you’ll find someone new to date.

Hope that helps!

[Rayan lee]

This guy is just keeping you as a ‘backup plan’. What he’s saying is, ‘If the baby is lost, I’ll come back. This is utter nonsense. Is he waiting for a tragedy to come back to you? Such a person has a bad mental state. You’re not a parking lot where he can park his car and come back whenever he wants.
You’re 32 years old, not some naive kid. Do you really want a man who is literally waiting for his own child’s demise just to be with you?
Raise your standards and get out of this toxic mess. Leave him to his ‘helpless’ ex; that’s exactly where he’s getting the punishment he deserves.

[Member]

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