[lostintranslation]

How do you get over someone you shouldn’t have developed feelings for in the first place?

I’m married, we are having a lot of problems. I’m not happy. We’re in therapy, but I’m not sure where we’re headed, and I can’t help but feel like it’s falling apart.

Reid and I have been good friends for awhile, and just recently started becoming even closer. We were relating to each other because he, too, was having relationship problems. We’ve always been able to talk about anything to each other, so that helped.

We’d been talking about how much closer we were getting. He told me I’m his best friend. We said we’d always be there for each other.

We’ve even talked about moving away. It started as something of a joke, like “let’s just run away from everything!” but soon we actually started researching places and making plans for how much money we would need to save and what we’d do once we got there. At one point I kissed him on the cheek. He got excited and told me that’s the first time I’ve ever kissed him back (he’s a big time cheek kisser with everyone), so I went to do it again, and he turned his face so I would catch him on the lips. The same night, we slept on his sectional so I wouldn’t have to drive home, I used his chest as a pillow and we fell asleep holding hands.

His partner had questioned him about me in the past, asking what he saw in me and why we got along so well. He’s insinuated that Reid’s cheating on him with me (Reid’s only been with men for the last decade). His father and stepmom asked him if something was going on with me and him because we apparently give off that vibe. Reid has, for fun, even convinced people that I’m his girlfriend / wife.

Reid and his partner have since split up over long-term problems. I’m not sure what happened to our friendship, but Reid has been seemingly avoiding me since.

I shouldn’t be feeling these things for him. There’s so many things wrong with it that it’s crazy. I feel like a horrible person. I don’t know how to stop.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Really? 😯 C’mon….. you know EXACTLY how to stop.

1. You don’t take his phone calls.

2. You don’t communicate with him online.

3. You don’t sleep at his house.

4. You don’t sleep in his arms.

5. You don’t kiss him.

That should do it! 😕

Your real problem isn’t Reid. Your real problem is your marriage, and since you’re actually MARRIED, you should try working on that relationship first before you complicate things further and exponentially. Relationships are hard work, and instead of skirting the real problems, you need to address them and work on them. If you want to talk about your marital problems, maybe I can help you. But if you don’t even want to address them, you’re at square one.

Stop seeing Reid and face the real music instead.

I hope that helps! Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

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