[Kitty Cath]

Hello, I’m Kitty, 29 years old. I consider myself an introvert because I am not comfortable socializing with people. I prefer quiet conversations over large public gatherings. For a long time, I’ve told my boyfriend, Dennis that I have stage fright. I have a history of severe anxiety whenever I’m suddenly put in front of a crowd, especially when all eyes are on me.
Dennis, on the other hand, is my complete opposite. He’s outgoing, expressive, and the kind of person who can give a speech without any preparation. He’s comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people. We have different ways of expressing love, but we’ve both always believed that we were doing the right thing.
On the day of the proposal, I thought we were simply going out for dinner. I had no idea that he had already informed his family about his plan to propose. I truly had no idea what was coming.
As soon as we arrived at the venue, I noticed that something felt different. The lights were bright, the music was loud, there was a microphone set up in the middle, and many people were looking at us. Then I saw his entire family, his parents and friends.
I immediately felt a heaviness in my chest and saw Dennis kneeling in front of me with a ring in his hand.
He started talking about how I was his peace, his partner and the person he had been waiting for all his life. Everything he said was beautiful and sincere. But while he was speaking, I wasn’t feeling excitement or happiness.
I was panicking.
My family wasn’t there. I had no familiar face to look at, no hand to hold, no one to remind me that whatever choice I made would be okay. All eyes were on me. There were cameras, cheers and people recording.
And so I said “YES.”
Not because I was ready.
But because I felt like I had no other choice.
It seemed that rejecting him wouldn’t just hurt Dennis, it would disappoint everyone watching. I didn’t think I could handle the silence that would follow if I turned him down. So I smiled even though my hands were shaking. I nodded even though my mind was in complete chaos.
Afterward, everyone celebrated. There were hugs, applause, photos, and endless congratulations.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was running on autopilot.
I was moving, smiling, and responding, but mentally, I wasn’t really there.
When we finally got home and everything became quiet, reality hit me. The room was silent, but my mind was loud.

That’s when I started asking myself whether I had done the right thing.
The next day, I tried talking to Dennis. I didn’t yell at him or blame him. I simply explained that I had felt overwhelmed and pressured, and that I had never expected a proposal like that.
He told me that he genuinely thought I would be happy. He thought that kind of proposal was everyone’s dream. He believed that his love for me would outweigh my fears.
And that’s where I became stuck.
In his mind, the proposal was a grand expression of love. It was the best way he could think of to make me feel important and deeply loved.
But a part of me still feels that something is wrong.
Since then, I’ve found myself questioning not only the engagement but also our compatibility.
I love him. I truly do.
But can we really understand each other when our comfort zones are so different?
Can he accept that not every expression of love needs to be displayed in front of an audience?
And can I live with the idea that important decisions in my life might be made for me, even after I have clearly expressed my boundaries?
To everyone else, we still appear to be happily engaged. There’s a ring on my finger and plans for the future.
But between the two of us, there’s a silence that I can’t explain.

So here I am, asking:
How do you take back a “yes” that wasn’t given because you were ready, but because you were afraid to tell the truth in front of so many people?

[Member]

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