This isn’t a “how do I gently bring it up” situation this is a sexual incompatibility and avoidance problem that will not magically fix itself through silence. You’ve been together four months and intercourse is essentially nonexistent. That’s not a phase, and it’s not something you politely wait out. Erectile dysfunction plus premature ejaculation plus refusal to discuss it equals a man who is avoiding reality while you quietly lower your expectations. That ends badly every time.
Stop worrying about protecting his ego. His ego is already running the relationship. A grown man who wants a healthy sexual relationship addresses problems directly he doesn’t hide behind oral sex as a substitute and hope you’ll stop asking. You are allowed to want penetration. You are allowed to want a functioning sexual connection. And you are absolutely allowed to ask whether he’s seen a doctor or plans to. If he hasn’t brought it up himself, it’s because avoidance is easier than accountability.
Here’s how you talk to him: directly, calmly, and without apology. You state that you enjoy being with him, but intercourse is important to you, and this situation isn’t sustainable long-term. You ask plainly whether he’s spoken to a doctor and whether he’s willing to seek help. No hints. No cushioning. No pretending you’re fine when you’re not. His reaction will tell you everything. If he shuts down, gets defensive, or refuses to address it, then understand this clearly: you’re dating someone who cannot handle adult conversations about adult problems.
