[worriedwife93]

Hello all,

I recently found out from one of my closest friends that my husband has been having lengthy conversations online with her, and quite a few other women. Apparently he has been asking them if they have ever wondered if he is gay or bisexual. I also recently found out he has asked one of my sisters. Should I be worried? It seems like he has done this alot with mutual female friends..

From what he tells me, he gets alot of gay teasing, especially at work. From his family members, and i have teased him before, but for good reason. I discovered he had been looking at the casual encounters ads on craigslist, searching for “bisexual couples”. I also found out he has talked to A LOT of females, asking them what they think. The most recent one was my sister, who told him that girls he has talked to came to her, wondering about him..thoughts?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your husband doesn’t feel like he can talk to you about this, so he’s looking elsewhere for help. That’s why he’s approaching your family, friends, and strangers on the internet. He thinks you’re going to feel threatened, angry and betrayed by his confusion about his sexual orientation, and he doesn’t want to face you and your feelings on this topic. 😳

Whether or not you are threatened, angry and betrayed, or any other feeling, isn’t all that important. It’s normal. You’re married, and the two of you need to discuss this problem because it’s not just his problem. It’s now yours, too.

My advice is that you open the channel of communication and approach him. Tell him what you’ve learned and how you’re concerned and why. Ask him to share his feelings with you, and get the conversation between the two of you started. You’ve lost intimacy with him because he’s afraid of your reaction. You’re entitled to your feelings, as is he, and you have to share them with each other. I think he’s going to be relieved at being able to talk to you about this.

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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