[Diesel2305]

Hi there. I have a situation I need advice for. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 yrs. we have lived together for most of that time until recently. Her father is ill, and needs to be looked after , which I understand , because we have discussed the matter. She is only 2 hours away. I have only seen her once in eight weeks, and that was for a day only. She said she would see me as often as she could. I know she is dealing with a lot of things, her mother passed away 3 yrs ago. But she dosen’t return my phone calls, when she does it’s only for a few minutes. She says she loves me. What do I do ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s hard to put yourself in the place of someone who’s parent is ill, and possibly seriously ill. It sounds like your girlfriend is so focused on taking care of her father, that she’s neglected you. My advice is to offer your support and to reach out and let her know you care. Ask her what you can do to help. Offer to come and visit — even if it’s for a day, only. Send her flowers and gifts, to let her know you care. If you have a relationship with her father, send him cards, and call to talk to him, if he’s able to speak. Depending on how sick he is, send him slippers or books or something to let him know you’re thinking of him, as well. It sounds like she’s focused on caregiving, and being a caregiver is very difficult, so any support you can offer will probably be very appreciated, and will draw you closer.

I hope that helps.

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