[Spelunker11]

1) We dated for 4 months, got to know each other over the course of a year
2) We’re teens (under 18)
3) His reason for dumping me was that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, but he said that we could still be friends
4) He seemed VERY INTO ME until one week prior to the break up, when he was a little less physically affectionate and didn’t see me quite as often (but that could be because of parental intervention–see 9).
5) Up until MINUTES before the break up he texted me ALL throughout the day (as he always did after we started dating) asking about my opinions, interests, what I was up to, giving me updates about his life, saying good night, etc.
6) I was recovering from surgery… so maybe he just texted all the time because he felt bad for me? We discussed many other things beyond how I was recovering though
7) He bought me flowers about a week before the break up due to my injury
8) He always kept up with doing me little favors/being a gentleman
9) One of his parents (who he is VERY close to/who he allows to control nearly his ENTIRE life) made it clear they did not like him dating. They wouldn’t allow us to be completely alone together.
10) He is very passive (conflict avoider) and aims to please his parents first and foremost
11) I was his first gf. As far as I know he hasn’t dated in the months since.
12) I said I couldn’t be friends for a while because I didn’t trust him. He sent the last text saying he was sorry, and neither one of us has initiated contact since.
13) After, he didn’t help me with my injury, but acted like a polite stranger up until last month. Now, he acts like I don’t exist.
14) I’ve actively avoided him, making sure he was uninvited from a gathering of mutual friends.
15) When people ask his best friend what happened, he says it just “kind of faded”/”ran its course”

Why do you think he broke up with me? Did he lose attraction? Did his parent make him (is he embarrassed to say so)? Was he just not ready? Thank you!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like as someone who’s new to dating, and living with his parents, as most teens, do, he was very influenced by his parents wishes that he not date you — or possibly anyone. When you’re a teenager, and living with your parents, it’s hard not to be influenced by what they want for you, and it sounds like that was what caused the break up. I’m sorry that you’re upset about the break up, but the good news is that he seems very clear about his decision, and that will make moving on a lot easier than if he was conflicted.

Hope that helps!

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