[Anonymous]

I have strong feelings for my best friend but he unfortunately doesnt feel the same way. We’ve been best friends for 5 years. We “dated” for 5 months and for those 5 months he was trying to figure out whether to take our relationship to the next level. He decided that we should be friends because he doesnt want to hurt our friendship and he wants to mess with other girls. I still have strong feelings and i really want to be with him. I dont know what to do with myself. He’s the first guy I ever cared and I’m not too sure how to move on from him without hurting our friendship.

[Anonymous]

By moving on you are no hurting your friendship. The best thing to do is to talk to him. The key thing in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. But before you do so, think about what you want to say. You will feel much better afterwards, believe me, i’ve been in the same situation. It isn’t easy but the best thing to do is to confront it head on. Good luck! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thanks! We’ve definitely communicated a lot throughout this process. I guess my problem is just trying to move on but I believe I can with time. Thanks again 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sex changes everything. It’s impossible for you two to be friends again, now that you’ve slept together and dated for five months, until you’ve BOTH moved on. Right now, you haven’t, and he’s wanting to “mess around” with other girls, but to still have you as his friend again — a best friend, no less. Your feelings are going to be hurt each time you’re with him and he talks about or spends time with other women he’s interested in dating. And he’s going to expect you to be okay with this.

My advice is to let go and stop seeing him so that [i]you can[/i] move on. Not all relationships are supposed to last forever, and being friends with a guy often ends like this. I don’t mean to make you feel badly by telling you this — I just want you to understand that what happened to you is normal, but that you’re going to continue to feel hurt, sad and even depressed until you move on and let him go — as your boyfriend and as your friend.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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