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April Masini, your AskApril.
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- April 13, 2012 at 1:17 am #5176
b_tay18Member #147,663So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two weeks now. The thing is, I was in a two year relationship before we started dating, and he was in a long serious relationship as well. Recently, he has confided in me that he still dreams of his ex and thinks about her and gets sad, but doesn’t miss her in a relationship way, just the memories but he always tells me how guilty he feels for it. I asked him why he feels so guilty and then he went on to explain that is it because he feels like he can’t just be open with me and express his emotions and he doesn’t know why. He told me that he really, really does like me and does want to be my boyfriend and that he is 100% sure about that, but that is where I am getting confused as to why he is saying stuff like this and acting like this. Have I done anything wrong or is it because he is just afraid of the relationship getting serious like his last? We were so happy when we first started dating because we felt comfortable around each other for the first time since our exes. I am so confused 🙁 April 13, 2012 at 11:21 am #23453How long has it been since he broke up with his girlfriend? April 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm #23355
b_tay18Member #147,663Almost a year and they dated slightly longer than me and my ex. April 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm #23372Since you’ve only been dating for two weeks, you’re still getting to know him as a romantic partner, which is very different than a friend. My advice is to stay open minded about the relationship. Just because you had two great weeks of dating, it doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be smooth sailing or that the two of you are cut out for each other. I know he SAYS he wants to be your boyfriend, but it’s smart to judge his actions as “louder” than his words. He doesn’t really seem like he’s ready to get involved emotionally with you yet. In fact, he seems like he’s still stuck in his break up, feeling sorry for himself. Different people take different lengths of time to process a failed relationship. He’s taking a long time — but you can’t hasten his process. It’s his. Don’t try to fix him. He’s not broken — but he’s definitely not on the same page you are. Don’t get too invested. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to follow through on his promise of being your boyfriend.
😕 I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, or you have any other questions, ask! And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
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