[ezm0005]

Ive been in a relationship for 2 and a half years. i recently transferred schools to be with him. i moved from newjersey to alabama for him. We had been living together for 6months. but for a while now i have not been myself. ive been having suicidal thoughts and just been really unhappy with life in general. one thing that always stayed constant was the love i have for my bf. once i started suffering i started taking it out on him(now knowingly) i was never happy and he felt like it was his fault.. i told him 2 weeks ago that i think i might be depressed and that i wanted to go see a doctor or something. he said he would be there for me and that he would help me. 2 days ago.. he broke up with me. just out of nowhere. from a perfect valentines day to him telling me he doesnt care about me anymore. a few days ago he was even looking at puppys for us! im just really confused as to why he broke up with me. i really really am so lost. my BEST FRIEND..has pushed me away… after i confided in him that i might have a problem. how cam someone just blow another person off after 2 and a half years. frome one day to another. how can he be okay with letting go of someone who has a problem? who is constantly thinking about dieing? how can he live with himself? i just admitted i have a problem.. and he just pushes me away. doesnt he know that i need him more than ever? why cant he just be with me through this.. and if i do get better and he still doesnt care, then he can blow me off. but hes my best friend. i have others that listen and say they care. but i dont feel comfortable enough with anyone else to share how im feeling. hes the only person i trust in this world. the one that i know understands me. why is he doing this to me when ive with him through so much.

i dont know what to do.

[stephie27]

Hi…
Gal…I understand how u feel coz i’ve been in and out of depression. but now i’ve learnt to get a hold on my life. If he has decided not to be with you anymore, let him be. you need to forget about him. have some self-respect! Love yourself gal! once u realize your worth, your thoughts of dying will also come to an end! Life is beautiful and no person is indispensible! It will definitely hurt for sometime, but life goes on and it is time for you to move on! I’m sure you’ll feel better after a while and then who knows, u might get to meet someone better! life is full of surprises..but it is also a challenge! Take up that challenge! coz one day…when things r going good n when you think back, u’ll b glad you didnt give up then! You will make it! Have Faith!

[Ask April Masini]

You have to be healthy yourself, in order to be functional in a relationship, so before you can even THINK about getting into a relationship with anyone, you need to take care of your depression.

Rather than blaming your now ex-boyfriend for hurting you, I hope you’ll turn your energy towards healing yourself. If you need to see a doctor, then by all means get the medical attention you need. If you don’t need to see a doctor than focus each hour on something that’s good in life whether it’s a croissant, a beautiful sky, a bright smile some cute guy at the dry cleaner gave you or the beauty of a bird soaring. Start with small steps. If you can find one thing, each hour, that is good, you’re on your way.

Eventually you will understand that most relationships end. For each successful marriage that bride and groom have probably had a dozen or more failed relationships. Breaking up is just part of dating, and if your ex-boyfriend decided he doesn’t want to date you any more, then see the good in the break up and not just the hurt. He’s not wasting your time any more, so you can focus on people in your life who ARE there for you and step away from those who are wasting your time by not caring for you.

You’re going to be fine — but you have to take care of yourself, first.

Hang in there, and see if you can do the hour at a time exercise I suggested, and if that works at all for you.

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