[madisonnicole10]

I need help with a guy I like. We have been talking for a bit but I have made many bad mistakes this summer. Here is the run down; I broke up with my boyfriend and then the next day I slept with someone. AN EXTREMELY STUPID MISTAKE. Everyone found out and he accused me of cheating and my reputation was ruined. Just to add to the mix there have been times at parties where I may have drank a little too much and slept with a few guys. I have changed, I realized that behavior is NOT acceptable and I am working on bettering myself. I would like to explain to him that I have DEFINITELY changed and I want him to learn to get to know me without him listening to what others have said. What should I write in my letter? I would like it to be long and meaningful but I don’t even know where to start. I basically want to tell him that I want him to get to know me and not listen to others but I don’t knowwww. Please help

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think there are things you can do instead of writing a letter that will help you more.

The reason not to write the letter is that you’ve never dated this guy, so writing him a letter is too provocative. This is the kind of thing you do with someone you actually [b]have[/b] dated. But since you and this guy haven’t even gone out, writing him a letter is coming on too strong. It’s going to appear too needy, and in a way, it’s going to be inappropriate — just like your drinking too much and sleeping with too many guys at parties — the letter will be outside the norm of appropriate behavior given your relationship with him. 😉

The reason you want to write the letter is to try and get this guy to ask you out — after you’ve behaved in a way that has probably pushed him away from you instead of drawn him closer. You want to do damage control and further your good cause. But, writing a letter of apology or explanation is just going to make it worse. So, instead….. do change your behavior, and when you see or talk to him, he’ll see what you’re doing. And let him get to know who you really are — but don’t push. Relax. Try not to stir the pot in any way. And just be the person you want to be — not someone who’s needy or insecure.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Saman]

Listen, when someone is talking about you, the most powerful thing is “silence”. By giving this guy a long letter, you are giving him the power to judge you. Instead, be calm and classy enough that he thinks that what he heard was probably a lie.
And I really liked AskApril’s expert advice
It is better to change your behavior than to offer excuses. When you meet or talk to him, he should see that you have changed.
Walk away and “try not to stir the pot in any way”. Repair your reputation not with your words but with your new character.

[Member]

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