[JustLearning88]

So my boyfriend and I have a pretty good relationship. We never fight. He’s very calm and listens to what I’m saying. But this last two weeks he didn’t seem like himself. First it was just a weird distance, then he start asking a lot of questions about our future. Finally he says he is wary of the next step in our relationship, i think this is because we were talking about moving in together. We seem to get through it, but then he does it all over again and wants to meet for dinner in three days. He says everything is fine, not to worry. So I spent the next three days worried and with very little contact with him.
At dinner it starts off like the other conversations prior, but then becomes about him leaving the country. To be fair, we had talked about this as a possibility but there was always an us option. As he is telling me about it, I’m hearing him say it like there is no us anymore. Come to find out he was breaking up with me, but still loved me. There was nothing wrong with our relationship according to him. He simply feels this is something he has to do. It’s a big deal, and meaningful in his opinion, so I understand why he felt he had to go, but I didn’t see why we couldn’t work something out to keep us together. After a long talk we agreed to not break up and think on it for a bit. I said a few thing in that long talk you that hurt him. I wasnt trying to be mean or guilt trip him, but that’s how he sees it. Now he’s decided not to go, but he isn’t sure we can fix what was said. We talk it seems uncomfortable but ok. But you can tell something isn’t right. How do I make up to him not supporting him on completing this life long goal he wanted to do? I already tried to tell him I’d go too, but he made up his mind not to go.

We’ve really had a wonderful relationship before this one thing. I don’t want to lose such a great companion. I know you’ll probably have questions you need smarts, please just ask away.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I want to answer your questions, but first…. please repost this post as a reply to the string of posts you’ve already started on this forum here: . It’s much easier for me to give you good advice when I see your history in one place. I’ll look out for the new post and I’ll answer you when you repost.

[Member]

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