"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

I’m lost

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  • #7029
    PillowJam
    Member #372,792

    So, a year ago I met a girl in the University. I am a shy guy but we went to the same lectures, so we started talking. I found out she was a lot like me, we had same interests, etc, etc. I could feel she was into me. And I was into her. And finally we went on our first date. Then we went on the second one. And then I kept asking her out, but she would always say no. I did not really understand what’s happening, so I asked her about it. She said that I wasn’t giving her enough attention. So, I just said “Ok, it’s fine”. I didn’t want to make lame excuses or try to prove her wrong. And I thought that was it, I thought it was the end. But…

    A few days later, she texted me. She just wanted to chat. So we texted each other. And slowly we became very good friends. And, surprisingly, we went out again (not like on a date, but, you know, like friends hanging out). I even got a permission to paint her portrait, which she didn’t let me do when she was my girlfriend (if going on two dates with same girl counts as having a girlfriend).

    I consider her my soul mate, because chemistry between us is amazing. I haven’t felt this with anyone else. But the more we talked, the more I felt like she is the ideal girl for me. And I don’t have clear opinion on what, for me, ideal girl should be like. Don’t get me wrong, I liked her since the day we met, but now I’m CONSTANTLY thinking about her. I have a huge crush on her and I’m wondering, should I ask her on a date again? Maybe I should reveal my feelings to her?

    She would sometimes text me out of blue and say “I just wanted you to know that you are amazing”. There was one time when she said that I am the sweetest, the most amazing, the most caring guy she has ever known. I get why she would do that – you see, I always help her with anything she has problems with. Sometimes I even put aside my own problems and help her. But I don’t understand this: does she like me as a man, or does she like me only as a friend? I’m not sure if revealing my feelings is ok in this particular scenario as it might ruin our friendship. Or maybe those spontanious texts are her way of showing that she likes me and wants me to take her out.

    I’m lost.

    Thanks.

    #30841

    You’re stuck in the friend zone. 😕 After two dates, it sounds like she started telling you no more dates — but she wants to be friendly with you. 🙁 This is a really difficult place for anyone to be — and you’re already uncomfortable. It’s going to get more uncomfortable if you stay this course. She’ll expect you to be happy for her if she’s dating another guy, because you’re such good friends. My advice is to take yourself out of the friend zone. Go back to dating only, and if she’s not interested in dating, then move on. I know you want to hold onto her because you are hoping there’s something there, but if after two dates, she’s not that into you, what is it you’re really holding onto? 😉

    I know this probably isn’t what you were hoping to hear, but I hope you’ll ask me any other questions you may have. And I’m here!! Let me know how things go for you.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #30840
    PillowJam
    Member #372,792

    Well, I see that the best thing to do here is to try one last time and see what happens. Thank you very much 🙂

    #30843

    You’re very welcome. Good luck — and let me know how things go.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
    [url][/url]
    And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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