[gbubemi]

Hi, I am friends with this young lady who I study with, we tend to be real good friends, we share a lot together and it’s been really cool having someone as sweet and kind as her. Now the issue, she caught my attention the first time I saw her and I have been attracted to her since the, avoiding rushing into things and messing it up, I choose to be friends with her and build up a relationship with her. I once told her how I felt, we had this long conversation n in conclusion she’s not ready for anything yet but I know she still sees her ex. So I have chosen to be there for her and jut let things work itself out but I am worried I might get to be too there for her, therefore making me more of a really close friend than someone that really is attracted to her. Don’t know if this is clear enough but your advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re in the friend zone. 😕 The only way to get out is to stop being her friend and start being someone who wants to date her. 😉 People fear losing a connection with someone they’re crushing on, so they put themselves into the friend zone. They figure that any contact as a “friend” is better than no contact as a rejected date…. but that’s not always the case. 🙄 If you want to date her, then you have to ask her out. And if she says no, then you have to back off and stop being her friend. You should still be civilized and even flirtatious — and let her know you’re there for the dating, but not for the friendship.

[Hamna]

Ask April was right that, if you don’t want friendship but a date, you’ll have to stop being friends.
If you want to get out of it, ask her out on a date. If she says no, leave the friendship behind. Be civil, be flirtatious, but make her realize that you’re interested in dating, not friendship.
If she’s not ‘ready,’ don’t be ready to sit in the ‘waiting room’ either. Be the prize, not the backup plan.

[Member]

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