[ncowlpal@aol.com]

Here is my dilemma. I recently arrived home after 8 months away from
study abroad. Prior to leaving my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been
together for two years but didn’t want to do the long distance thing
and had started to grow apart. While abroad, we Skyped most days and he
even came to visit me. While he was over we hooked up, although we
never talked about getting back together while he was visiting because
I still had 3 months until I came home. Anyway, I arrived home about a
month ago and we started hooking up again. So finally I decided to
bring up our relationship and where it was. I told him I still had
feelings for him and wanted to get back together, and he said he didn’t
feel that way about me. I was so hurt by this, I felt used and betrayed
that he would lead me on all this time. But he said that I am his best
friend and he still wants me as a friend in his life. He seemed
extremely genuine about this. I told him that I needed time. So here I
am. I realize now that after what he did I do not want him as a
boyfriend again, but I don’t even know if I can even have a friendship
with him anymore. We have been so close for over 3 years now and it
would be incredibly difficult to end all ties with him because we have
always been there to support each other, but I am at the point where he
has really hurt me and I don’t know if I can forgive him. I know you
get a lot of these kind of dilemmas, but I am 20 years old and this is
my first real heartbreak and I just don’t know if I should try and keep
a friendship with him after some time passes. Please help me!

Best,
Ann

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Men and women really can’t be friends. 😳 Not real one on one friends the way same sex friendships evolve. Friends don’t have sex with each other! Sex changes everything in a relationship and men and women have sex for different reasons. Basically, men have sex because they can. Women have sex for emotional leverage (worst case) — or to express their feelings (best case). But when women have sex with a man, they become attached to him emotionally. Men aren’t the same.

It sounds like your relationship has run it’s course because he isn’t interested in anything other than a friends or friends with benefits situation — which isn’t good for you (or any woman in your shoes).

I’m sorry you got hurt. 🙁 You’re figuring it all out. You might want to read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to win with men. You can buy it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. If you do read it, at age 20, you’re going to be WAY ahead of the dating game. 😀

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

Posts