[Anonymous]

My problem is to know whether my boyfriend is sincere with me or not. Our relationship is 11 months old, no sex because I’m a virgin. This is his first time being in relationship without sex and he been kindly waiting for it happen. And soon, we will do it. We talk about our future together, of how he will convert to my religion , marry me and the fairy tale. My problem is that he is my first boyfriend, and honestly think I take everything as the truth. I have this fear that he is in the relationship as a challenge. Once he get it, he will leave me. Plus our relationship is always 50/50, example if we going out for dinner, we’ll pay the bills 50/50. We share our feelings, but I do more. I told that I love him, and he doesn’t want to use the word without truly meaning it. So I feel like he has the upper hand in the relationship. In conclusion, I have this annoy feeling that I shouldn’t give up without hearing him telling me that he love me or keep for marriage. What should I do? He is truly sincere to you, or is he waiting it for the moment he get it and leave. Help me …First timer. Aslo, we’re both in university, in our early twenty. Plus, Im older than him. And he always mention that he want to convert to my religion.

[Ask April Masini]

If your virginity is that important to you, and you’ve held out for 11 months because of this tradition, then it would make sense to wait until marriage, and his conversion to your religion for you to give him your virginity. I suspect that if he marries you, you will feel more comfortable giving up your virginity than if you give it to him because he promises to marry you, but hasn’t yet.

If your splitting the costs of dates is because you’re both college students, I suppose that’s understandable, but it’s not very chivalrous. Even footing the total bill for a frugal date like a picnic, or a pizza in front of the television on movie night, shows more consideration of your being his girlfriend, than splitting everything. Some people don’t care about splitting the check, but since your virginity is important to you, I suspect you are traditional in other ways. Honor yourself, by honoring your traditions. If you decide to let go of traditions make sure you do it for you, not for someone else who is not committed to you in any way.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

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