[Anonymous]

I am eighteen years old and good friends with a colleague of mine who is thirty-two. Recently, he has become increasingly flirtatious, always complimenting me and even making discreet physical contact (rubbing my back,touching my leg etc.) I can tell he would like to do more and even engage in a relationship but he hasn’t gone that far because I haven’t acted the same way towards him, although I want to. He is a nice, respectful man who I know would stop any behaiviour that made me uncomfortable. The thing is that it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I find myself enjoying it when he touches me and flirts with me, but my friends feel very strongly that this interaction is wrong because of the age difference. I am a sensible, level-headed person who is certain that he has no ill intent and is not taking advantage of me in any way. Should I return the behaviour? It’s legal illegal, but is it ethical?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If in your state or part of the world sex with a minor includes anyone under the age of 21, then understand that he could get in huge trouble if the two of you start to have a relationship — or his behavior is considered sexual in nature, and yes, touching can be misconstrued. So if what he’s intending to do — which is to have a physical relationship and maybe more — is illegal in your state, stop doing it, and get support in stopping.

If it is legal, then you have every right to pursue a relationship with him. I assume you’re both single and he’s not your boss at work (which complicates things). The age difference you describe is only a problem when there are cultural differences or huge gaps in sophistication or experience or intelligence. But many relationships with a big age gap work out fine — and even great because the older man gets something genuine from a younger woman and vice versa.

I hope that answers your question for you! Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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