[Malheureuse]

I was in a long distance (different countries) relationship for a little over a year when we decided to call it off, the reason being that neither of us saw a time in the near future where we would be in the same place. Even during the relationship it was hard because I felt as though I had moved on already (dating others, but not discussing it) but was still deeply in love. About a month after we broke up I was offered a job in a city about 1 hour away from him, so I sent him an email saying that maybe we would see each other after all. His response seemed optimistic but there has been no talk of getting back together. We talk off and on now and I feel myself becoming frustrated and confused with the situation; I still have feelings for him, though not as strongly as I once did, and I think that I would love him just as much as before if we were to be together but the situation is so ambiguous that I feel almost as though I’m being used. The girlfriend brain makes me want to call/text him and expects him to do the same, but the logical brain says that we are NOT together and that this is an unreal expectation. I just can’t tell if his feelings for me are what mine are for him. He’s a wonderful person and was always very caring and kind when we were together so I can’t figure out why he’s stringing me along. I know that I could ignore him if I really felt I wanted to move on, but I feel trapped between my feelings of love for him and my desire to move forward. I guess what I’m asking is how to approach this romantic dilemma

Merci

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I never advocate men and women being friends — especially right after a break up like yours because there are always mixed feelings. One person likes the other more and there is confusion and hurt, just like you’re experiencing.

My advice is that you stop being friends with him — or trying to (it won’t work) — and move on by honoring the break up and your new start as a single. Don’t see him, and he won’t be in your life to confuse you. 😉

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[Malheureuse]

Agreed, that’s probably for the best.

Thanks for reaffirming what I was feeling, now to move forward with confidence. 🙂

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome! 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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