[BeautifulNightmare]

Hi all, I hope you can help me with this because I am confused, scared and hurt.

I met my boyfriend a few months back, and after getting out of a relationship with a violent boyfriend I was glad when I saw he was kind, caring and funny. But he is two-faced, as I discovered. My mum and dad were out of town so I invited him around, (I’m 19, by the way) and we were watching TV. He started trying to kiss me out of nowhere. I was nervous so pulled away. After he had left I was still a little nervous but thought I would just blow past it. I told him I was a little nervous due to my previous relationship which fell spectacularly apart. He said he understood and would wait until I was ready, which is when I felt so relieved.

But then on Tuesday he came around to our house again. I was tired because I had a 9-5 day at University. We went up to my bedroom because he wanted to meet my bearded dragon (That’s not a euphemism, honest =P) and after he sat down on my bed and suggested we put a DVD on. While we were watching he kept trying to kiss me, and I kept pulling away. After a few attempts and after I pulled away he climbed on top of me with his hands on my head then really started kissing me. He was scaring me!! I kept trying to pull my head away, and finally he rolled off again. But still after that he kept trying. That night after he went I was so confused and terrified I was actually crying. On Thursday night I got up the courage to tell my brother, he is very protective of me so I felt like I could tell him. He was fuming at him, and asked his fiance to talk to me as well. They both said for me to end it with him, and I have every intention of doing that. I have lost all respect and feelings for him. But I have several questions for you guys:

1) If my mum and dad weren’t in the house, (And if my amazing little Jack Russell wasn’t keeping an eye on me, of course 🙂 ) then do you think he would have tried to go further? On Tuesday he really was going for it, and I couldn’t move because he was on top of me.
2) When I break up with him, what shall I say?
3) Are there any other steps I should take? I am unsure if he has the potential to get “stalker-ish”. After seeing what he is really like he seems the type.

Thank you very much for any answers.

[Ask April Masini]

It’s a good thing that you talked to your brother and that he was such a good support to you. As for your questions, you already know the answer to question number one which is why you’re writing me. You were scared that he was going to rape you, and that’s why you’re breaking up with him. The answer to your second and third questions are that you should not break up in person unless you have someone like your brother with you. Just tell him you don’t want to see him again and to please not contact you. Make it crystal clear. If you’re afraid he is going to try to contact you after the break up, making your wishes to never see him or hear from him again will prevent that. If he thinks there is any chance you’ll see him again, he’ll try again.

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