[Thevelvetdolls]

Hi there! My boyfriend has a very close female friend and may I know what are the telltale signs that they may be more than just friends?

1. He went out with her one-on-one once but he asked me for permission before that, and they went for an event together with other friends after that.
2. He went on a holiday with some other friends and her. He invited me along because he didn’t want me to feel uneasy
3. I told him how I felt about her and he apologised for making me feel insecure and he said they are just friends. He also thanked me for telling him how I feel. But I just felt that his reply was a little insincere because he only said he will try and talk to her less. They used to talk on a regular basis but I’m not sure about now. I have never checked his phone/Facebook btw!

Do you think I’m just being paranoid or is there something else going on? I’m 18 and he’s 20 this year. Thank you!

With love,
Katy

[Thevelvetdolls]

Anyway just some background info, he met her roughly around the same time as he met me. The two of them met in a program/event and then my bf and I met in a program part 1 and she, along with other people, joined part 2 of the program so we all know each other (hope it’s not very confusing!). We have been together for around 11 months now! Sometimes he will be online on whatsapp for a long period of time but he won’t be replying me, and when I check the girl’s status and she’ll be online too so it just makes me feel that he is talking to her more than he talks to me… I know if they are both online at the same time it doesn’t mean anything, but this has happened quite a number of time, maybe she will be online too 85% of the time when he’s online for long periods of time. How do I stop this? Checking on the girl everytime???

Katy

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not being paranoid. And, you and your boyfriend, at ages 18 and 20, respectively, are relatively new to dating. So new that you may not realize that men and women can’t be friends. The reason is that one person always feels more for the other at some point, and this isn’t friendship. So, while you and your boyfriend may feel that everything is on the up and up with this other woman, your instincts are cluing you into the fact that he likes her and she likes him.

So, what do you do? First, do not give him an ultimatum. You’re not his mom, and you shouldn’t be setting up ground rules for a guy you’ve dated 11 months. Second, you should recognize that dating is competitive. There will always be temptations, and this woman may be one now, or in the future. All that means is that YOU have to dial up your game. 😎 My advice is that you recognize the competition and become the girlfriend he can’t say no to, and doesn’t want to risk losing. 😉

Hope that helps!

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