[Pidot]

me and my gf have been together for 5 years. 3 breakups have been done because of the long distance and made throughout the years. 1 breakup reason because of long distance and get back together. 2nd i cheated because of long distance too then we take months for me to get her back because i realized that i cant live without her. And the 3rd time because she was under pressure because of her study and me interrupting her (i was concern but maybe too much) so i gave her space for 3 months and suddenly i found out that she have a new bf and this is where my love story really started. They didnt last longer because her new bf (now ex) doesnt pay much attention to her while i was fighting to get her back. After months of fighting she come back to me and weve been together since august 2014 until now. With all that happend between me and her and afraid of losing her again i change for her give as much attention to her. Be the best for her and never do the same mistake again. there are many things i want to tell but its too long and i think im going straight to the recent problem i have with her. 1 day she said to me that her sister ate her dinner that her mother bought for her. Then i thought that i should buy her food for her but didnt tell her so i could surprise her by doing that. Before i further the stories. When she at her family home she doesnt like me to come without telling her because her parents will ask her questions about me. Me and her family know each other and i sometimes there are times that i hangout at her house with her family around. Thinking that she wont mad if i just send her some food. After i arrived at her house trying to call her but she didnt pick up so i rang her door bell and her father open the door so i tell her father that i bought her some food. while he calling for my gf to come down, then i received her call and questioning why did i come to her house(in very angry voice) i was shock that i didnt expect this to happen. Her other sister came to get her food while i was on the phone with her and she starts cursing me and yelling and ask me to go home immediately. Without any question i went back home and while driving she continue cursing me through text and i tried to apologize but it didnt work. Realizing that i really f it up when she ask me to never call her back forever and never ever come to her house ever again. I take that as a breakup but she never mention that. She really hate me now. Im really afraid of losing her. I know what i did was wrong but never intended to hurt her and never expect for this to happen while i shouldve know it.

[AskApril Masini]

I’m sorry you’re upset. It sounds like you know exactly what happened and why.

If you have a question for me, you’re welcome to ask it. I don’t see any questions here. And if you do write back, please let me know how old you both are, as that always helps. 🙂

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[Pidot]

Hey April thank u for replying. Actually i would like to have anyone’s advice on how to deal with these. What should i do to get her back. How to calm her down. How to solve this and get everythings back into normal. How to make her accept my apologize. How to make her understand that its never my intention to make her mad. All i wanted to do is being sweet and i care about her. What i think is that give her some space until she contact me back regardless whether she is okay or not okay. Both of us are 22 years old. Im sept and she’s nov.

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]What should i do to get her back. [/quote]

Gosh, it sounds like you’ve been on and off with this woman for five years between the ages of 18 and 22, and that most of it has been long distance, I’m guessing, because of college. With four breakups in five years, and her not wanting you to stop by her home, maybe getting her back isn’t what you should focus on. 😕 It sounds like maybe you should move on.

However, if you do want to get her back, you’re going to have to give her some time to get over being upset, and then try to woo her with flowers, cards, and other ways that let her know she’s special. 😉

[quote]How to calm her down. [/quote]

You can help her calm down by giving her space to get over what happened, and if she does, consider doing what she asks for in future.

[quote]How to solve this and get everythings back into normal. [/quote]

If you want to solve the last fight the two of you had, I think you have to understand that she got angry at you because she asked you not to come by her house without telling you, and you did it anyway. She probably felt disrespected and that her privacy was invaded. I know you were trying to be kind, but if you want to understand why she got angry, I think you have to consider giving her what she asks for. As for getting back to normal, I think you have to give her space to get over being angry and then try to win her over again. 😉 But understand that just because you apologize, doesn’t mean you get a second chance. I think you’re realizing that now. Sometimes people have lines in the sand that are their bottom lines, and they may not realize it until someone crosses those lines. You should be prepared in case that’s where she is. 🙁

That said, if she doesn’t want you to stop by her house after five years of dating, she may not be that into you and that’s your sign to move on. 😉

[quote]How to make her accept my apologize. [/quote]

You shouldn’t try to [i]make[/i] someone accept an apology. Apologies are offers, not something you insist on or force on someone. You can’t make her accept it, you can just offer it. 😉 It’s her choice to accept it or not.

[quote]How to make her understand that its never my intention to make her mad. [/quote]

I think she knows you didn’t try to make her mad. She just doesn’t understand why you didn’t respect her wishes. She may be saying to herself, “How do I get him to understand that I don’t want him to come by without calling and asking first?” In other words, you’re not on

[quote]All i wanted to do is being sweet and i care about her. [/quote]

That’s very clear — you were trying to do something nice. She doesn’t want you to come by without calling and asking first — whether to do something nice or not. And I know you understand that. I think you should move on from defending yourself, and focus on problem solving instead. 🙂

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[Pidot]

Thanks for the great advice April. Actually both of us are very comitted to each other. Everything just change in one night. In a logical way i still think that she still love as much as i love her. It’s just that the problem that i did caused her to forget everything that ive done for her and she (at the moment. I hope so) hate me so much. im not really planning to move on with only this unclear sign since she never mention the word breakup even though she ask me to go away forever plus she said it because she was mad. According to my past experience with her. Whenever she get mad (not the recent mad, its lower than that) i’ll just give her a day or two for her to calm. But these mad is totally diff. Way above her head that i never encounter. It just that i light up the fire that i wasnt suppose to.

Ive had enough with relationship actually April. But the only thing that i still stick with her because i really love her and no matter how hard i try to forget about her which i already done so. I still cant stop thinking about her. My heart will lead me to her even i date with another girls. If she is not the one i will married then there will never be a chance for another girl to step in. But that is what my heart feels from the first time i met her til now. Ive seen her imperfections but i still choose to stay. I just hope that when she sees mine. She would stay. Thats what love is all about isnt it? Not looking for perfections but stay for its imperfections.

[AskApril Masini]

Good luck to you!

If you have any questions, you’re welcome to ask them. 😉

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