I’m very sorry for what you’re going through. It’s difficult. And I’m sure that’s an understatement. 😥 It makes tremendous sense that you’d be depressed and despondent, and I absolutely believe that you should take care of yourself. There are lots of friends you can make who are going through the same thing and will be great sounding boards and support for you. There are activities you can do from simply getting physicals to exercising to stay healthy to joining team sports to have some fun. You should take breaks and even vacations to get away and clear your head and your heart. Make sure you have enough help with your husband’s day to day needs so the burden, although already great, isn’t entirely on you. Your sexual issues are just a small part of the loss you’re suffering, and I understand that cheating on your husband is a hot button — and you’re counting on being a victim of his long-term illness to make it okay, or okay enough.
It sounds like the real problem here isn’t sex. It’s your loss and the toll that that loss is taking on you. I think that if you implement some new ways to take care of yourself, you may not feel that the sex is that much of a loss in the bigger scheme of things. You may find that pet, which is something therapists often use, might bring some joy and comfort to your life, as well.
Bottom line, you absolutely need more support. I just don’t think having an affair is the cure for your loss.
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