[triplet]

hi april,
after being away for 2 years, i saw an ex that i spent 4 years with & we were planning to get married.
when i met him last week i wasn’t expecting to feel the way i felt, he is really the only & best love of my life.
now i’m thinking of get him back, he loves me a lot & he told me that he want us to date again … but i have one problem:
when we were dating my father didn’t agree for this relationship because the guy didn’t continue his education… & in the past 2 years i did double major & i’m successful in my career & in that part of my life. so he refused in the past & still refusing to continue his education because he think he’s too old to learn things & doing exams( he’s 30), even though next year he will be forced to proceed or he will not get promoted in his current job.
what im asking from him is to get his school degree for now, first it will be great for him & for his future & also i’ll be able to convince my family that this person is trying to achieve a better life & he’s ambitious.
he told me that im superficial & all i care of is what people say, & if i really love him, i will do it neither he’s educated or not. but i really dont care about the financial part im ready to live with him despite if he’s in a good or bad financial situation, but education, i think it’s a necessity.
i will see him tomorrow, so i just need a powerful way to convince him that this step is better for all of us… & if he do it i can be with him peacefully without having to have fights with my father again… because im kind of stuck between 2 persons that i love a lot & i dont want to hurt anyone of them. what do you think should i do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t think that you should try to convince him to continue his education, when he’s a 30 year old man who doesn’t want to continue his education. You’ve made the suggestion, he’s strongly rejected it. Now, you have to decide if the two of you are compatible or not.

Feelings are one thing, but it really sounds like there was a good reason that the two of you broke up your engagement when you did, and now you have a very important issue between you — before you even start dating again!

I know you have feelings for him, but that’s not enough to make a relationship work. And it’s really hard for people to see that they’re incompatible when both people have good qualities, and feelings for each other. The trick is to have compatibility and respect. You don’t have that for him, and you’re very attached to your father, who doesn’t think it’s a good match. I know you want to convince him to do something he doesn’t want to do, but I don’t think that’s going to work, and that you should move on if you can’t accept him the way he is. 😉

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