[Lobo]

Ok how do I start, I’m in in love with a woman who is 17 years my senior. She is in a “relationship” with another man who lives out of state who happens to be my cousin. They’ve been off and on for about 2-3 years now. I’ve know my cousin all my life been around him know that he’s a manipulative abusive man whore. She knows that I’m sure by now but still she loves him that just makes me love admire and respect her all the more. I’ve had conversations with her very deep and I’ve been used before and know the one sidedness but that isn’t the case when I’m with her. We live in the same town and if we don’t see each other everyday we have contact with one another. We’ve never had any intamite relations just real close companions. Yes I have told her how I felt and because of the age differcne I may have came on too strong but that aside nothing has changed at all. I am aware of some older women seeking younger men for sexual bordom nothing more but this isn’t the case. I know something else the way I feel is just unexplainable and I see something in her eyes her movements words actions that just is different than any other woman I’ve ever been around what is it? How do I stop her from getting hurt when I know the power of manipulation and from a mans perspective know how most of us can be lowlife sum the same goes for actually most women we’re human but hurt each other so deeply for senseless reasons? Is this real like I know it to be any thoughts please? Nothing rude or obscure please either love has no restrictions or reason I respect that about everyone.

[Lobo]

Also it really doesn’t matter the outcome idc what any personally I know thinks or says about it and her happiness is my happiness even if I am not the one to give her that happiness although with all my heart I want to be I’ve told her that a little strong probably coming from someone like me all she said is I never expected that and it threw her off guard witch I didn’t believe that of course haha she had to of known something and even felt something

[April Masini, your AskApril]

So, it sounds like you’re crushing on your cousin’s girlfriend. And you feel that she’s making a poor choice by dating him and not you. What you need to understand is that she’s a grown woman (please include your ages when you do write again), and she makes her own decisions about who she wants to date or not. Some women date felons in prison. Some women date married men. Some women bad boys. And whether or not you agree with their decisions, they are their decisions to make.

My advice is that you focus on what’s really going on here — you want to win her over and get her to date you! But the tact you’re taking seems to be to denigrate your cousin. Try taking a more positive campaign where you don’t mention him, but instead, try to win her over with positive attributes. 😉 Try to get her to date you — because if you can win her over, it won’t matter if her current boyfriend is good, bad or ugly — you’ll have won. 😀

I hope that helps.

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[Lobo]

Ah yeah that’s really true I do and I don’t really talk about him or even get upset when she brings him up I just listen to her. Unlike other men she’s been with on the on then off period….we really talk a lot and yes I know we’re friends I don’t buy into friend zone stuff hahahaha because a man and woman can be friends just like you would have your gal friends and I’d have my guy friends she could date him or anyone but as far as he is concerned yeah I guess you’re right. About our ages yes she is grown and so am I we don’t really look at that well she might so she says I met her before my cousin and have never talked about some things with anybody else like I have with her bit anyway she’s 38 I’m 22 I know some people freak out about that thing but I do not I spent most my childhood around adults and our parents are the same age actually mine are older haha but that’s nothing to do with it I’m sure. She just left my house a min ago stayed pretty late just hanging out and me talking to her about not worrying about other people that don’t matter “work drama” but I’m glad she left in better mood now 🙂 about some users she actually does so much for me I d even know why lol well maybe idk how should I try and get her to date me plus is anything I said show that she really does care about me some other way?

[Lobo]

Plus I was told by my cousin to watch her and make sure she doesn’t even look at another man because insecurity issues Id have to guess even told me if she noticed me noticing her and if she offered me favors trying to be polite to take it and come tell him that’s when he lived in our state I actually was and did uphold my part but sometimes people just change I don’t think I changed for the worse though if you ask me. That being said I don’t feel like a better man than him at all because of just simply agreeing haha dang stupid me huh

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You may not buy into the men and women can’t be friends theory, but you’re smack in the friend zone. Friends are honest with each other, and you’re not being honest with her about the way you feel — that’s not friendship. It’s feelings of romance and lust, and that’s not how friends feel about each other. 😉 The way to get out of the friend zone is to ask her out on a date, and the way to do that is to say, “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?” It’s really that easy. As for your cousin, I know you don’t want to be part of conflict, but if you’re going to compete for her, you will be.

I hope that helps.

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