[Anonymous]

My girfrien of 4 years and I currently have lived together for the last 3 years, in a condo that I own. It is somewhat small and in a resort development and thur very busy in the summertime.My gf is not that social and doen`t like living in a “goldfish bowl”. Fair enough, so we decided to look at a house to buy together that would have room for some expansion and our hobbies. We found a house that we both like and agrred to put an offer in on it. Then, 2 days after that she told me that she had put an offer in on the house by herself as she wanted her own place. She said we could still”date” She wanted to live here until her possesion (90 days) but felt that would be too hard. She says she doesn`t want to break up but needs her space. Just looking for opions from others on this, as I am very conflicted

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the spelling errors, Also she doesn`t understand why I am hurt, angry and confused over this.

[lakeshaker]

Sorry for the spelling, I guess I should clear up a few things, first of all she doesn`t think what she is doing is unusual, nor can she understand why I am hurt , confused , angry etc. BTW I am 52 she is 58… why take on a mortgage for bassically the rest of your life?

[Ask April Masini]

Your girlfriend took advantage of you by agreeing to shop for a house together, and then sabotaging you by putting an offer on the house for herself — and only herself — in spite of the fact that you’ve been living together for three years and had a house hunting agreement.

While she wants to live with you for the next three months until her house deal closes, my advice is to end the relationship now. You should expect more from a girlfriend, and her betrayal doesn’t speak highly of her respect or loyalty for you. Tell her to find somewhere else to live now, since she’s moving out anyway, and you should start looking for a great woman who would never go behind your back like this.

[Author]

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