[Supermom1981]

I will just give some back info first i’m single after 9 years with my ex. We have one 6 year old son together and I have a 15 year old from a previous relationship also. I was doing fine on my own with my kids for the first 7 months…then I decided to somewhat complicate my life. I had been interested in a guy from work…always thought he was cute from the day I met him….when I say work together I don’t see him daily as he’s a truck driver for my company and I work in the office although I do interact with him daily because I’m his dispatcher. Anyways he has 2 kids…which I adore….there is no jealously with me about him being a good dad and spending time with them…the issue is that we have an excellent relationship and I think his kids mom knows this. She takes advantage of him so much it kills me how she can be so selfish. He has the kids like 90% of the time.. he even pays a ton of child support Iike he has 0% custody. Her selfishness is starting to get to me. He has the kids so much there’s no time for us. She also asks him to do things around her house example unclog her garbage disposal…kill bugs….fix door locks…stuff her boyfriend should do or she should hire a handy man. He goes to her house to put kids to bed and watch the kids so she can go out. Do I have rocks for brains or does he? How do I even approach him on the subject so he doesn’t get mad at me or think im being selfish? I just want to spend time with him and not get the leftovers when he’s exhausted from having the kids or from catering to her.

[AskApril Masini]

Don’t be embarrassed. This is a good question. 🙂 Your situation is not unique — lots of exes act out when they see a former partner happily involved with someone else. That said, his child support situation and his child custody situation are his business. It’s very important that any changes he may make — or decide not to make — are initiated by him, not you. If you become the catalyst for a custody war or a financial fight between he and his ex, you’ll be implicated, as will your happy relationship with him. Decide if you want to continue seeing him, as he is, and if you do, let this stuff go. If he asks you to marry him and your finances will be commingled, that’s a different conversation, but for now, decide if you can continue with him like this or not. I know you don’t like it, and you’re not wrong, but these are his choices. 😉

[Member]

Posts