[hockeyguy79]

So for the last couple years I’ve been dating with not much success nothing really seemed to stick or keep me interested, and the girls that did interest me either wanted to be “just friends” or would mysteriously drop off the face of the earth. I keep hearing things like you’re such a sweetheart and you’re so nice and the latest one is your appearance is intimidating. I should elaborate on the last one I got back into sports full tilt, extremes fitness, endurance races, mtn biking, hockey is the big one, so for two years I’ve been working out lots and playing lots of sports as a result I went from being 175lbs at 6’3″ and kinda out of shape to 205lbs at 6’3″ and in the best shape of my life any ways I’m being detailed because I think its necessary to get the full picture, OK so I’m at a bit of a loss I mean I’m only 27 I have a great job, I’m passionate about things and life in general, it just seems like everything I do when it comes to dating is wrong the last relationship I had was 3 years long so its not like I’ve never had a longer relationship before. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You haven’t mentioned anything that you’re doing that’s wrong. So either you have to be a little more clear about what it is you want in a girlfriend, and then don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t fit the bill, or else you have to treat dating like a numbers game and understand that you have to date a lot of women before you find someone who’s your “home run” in the game.

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[hockeyguy79]

What I’m after is someone who has some of the same interests, who has a passion for the outdoors and living a healthy active lifestyle, I like taller women, women who bare confident, driven and fun, but also understands you gotta work hard to achieve, I know about the numbers game, last year I had about 65 different dating partners, I dont tend to linger if I don’t feel it I move on I guess I’m just exploring the option that I may be doing something wrong just to make sure I’m not, it gets tough working 90 hours every two weeks then trying to go out and meet people I’ve done a lot of internet dating perhaps that’s the issue?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It still sounds like you’re not making any mistakes — you had 65 different dating partners in a year, which is about one a week — which is a decent number, however, the number is only part of the picture. Trying to weed out, or edit out, the women who don’t fit the criterion you’re after — outdoorsy, confident, tall, etc. — is just as crucial. There are a lot of very nice women out there, but very few of them are going to be your Ms. Right. Perhaps you should really look at what went wrong for each of those 65 women — and I think you’ll find that you actually have other criterion in what you’re looking for that you haven’t been aware of. Knowing yourself is crucial in dating successfully — what you have to offer, and what your deal breakers are, as well as what you really want in a relationship, as well as what you’re looking for. So look back at the 65 dating partners and analyze what went right and what went wrong, and hone your game accordingly. 😉

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