[GR1234]

I work in the public service industry. I have had feelings for the woman that I work with for some time. We have always gotten along very well and have always had a playful/flirtatious relationship. We work 10+ hours together every day and even spend some together outside of work. Last week I basically told her that I had feelings for her. She said that she would have to think about it as she had a lot on her mind at the moment. She has primarily male friends and she always refers to them as just friends because I know she doesn’t have a boyfriend. I just don’t know what to think about this, I wish I knew what to expect. I don’t want to go asking her what she things about us but I want to find out. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated.

[DeepThought]

This is just my opinion, not knowing all the factors, but I kind of think if there was real romantic interest on her part she would have said so upfront. If you spend that much time together at work she must know you pretty well, so if she liked you “that way” I think it would be clear to her. It might be best to just play it cool, and if there is some attraction on her part, she’ll let it be known, especially since you’ve already told her (in so many words?) how you felt. But if you push it too much I think things could get awkward real fast. Especially hard since you work together. If you’re not worried about that, and don’t really care about keeping a comfortable friendship either (the only thing that matters to you is trying to win her over) then I would ask her out–don’t have to call it a date–try to be relaxed and confident, and see where it goes. But I would NOT go back to sharing your feelings with her, unless you’re sure she’ll be receptive. I’ve made that mistake before. It really kills the atmosphere.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Member]

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