You married him knowing about his past, so it’s unfair for you to bring it up now, fifteen years later. My advice is not to. You’re probably projecting your concerns about your daughter coming of dating age onto your husband because it’s difficult to relinquish control of a teenager, and walking that line between guiding her, imposing boundaries and structure for her, and also encouraging independence is difficult. Very difficult! 😉 In fact, many parents give up the responsibility of parenting teenagers because they don’t want to do the work and face their own emotions about dating, burgeoning sexuality, etc. You may, on some level, be trying to do that by focusing on your husband and getting angry because it’s a lot easier than focusing on your daughter. Anger is usually masking fear and because nothing new has happened between you and your husband, it really sounds like this is not so much about him as it is about your teenage daughter who is the same age his ex-girlfriend was when they started dating. So……Drop the focus from your husband and instead, train it the way you want to raise your daughter, knowing what you do about yourself and your husband, and from that knowledge base, give her more guidance and better dating support than either one of you got. In other words, turn the unfortunate history your husband had into a positive by making sure your daughter doesn’t get involved with anyone too much older. 😉
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