[Grace]

Hello there,
I’m Grace, 24 and I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. The breakup was not messy. We both agreed that it didn’t work and we still care about each other or we will still be friends but now I’m stuck wondering about the whole “friend zone” thing.
He’s been texting me occasionally, checking in and honestly, I don’t mind talking to him. We had a lot of history together and I value the friendship we built. But part of me wonders if staying friends is a good idea. I’m starting to meet new people and I’m not sure if keeping him in my life will make it harder to move on, or if it’s totally fine as long as we set boundaries. Because when I saw him, texts him, all the memories just flashbacked in my mind. All those ice cream dates with him, all the “I love you” messages he sent me all day and all those laughing with him. I really felt that Carlo is the one for me. But yes, our relationship didn’t last long.
How do you know if staying friends with an ex is healthy? And is there a “right way” to do it without messing things up?

[Bryer Rocky]

You said that Carlo was “The One” for you, but still, the breakup happened. If he were truly your true love, it wouldn’t have reached friendship. This friendship is actually a Slow Poison that is preventing you from starting a new life.
When you are having flashbacks of old romances after seeing the text, then it is not friendship, but an Emotional Hangover. You are trying to keep old feelings alive by hiding behind friendship.
In my opinion, this clean breakup is nothing more than a label. You are just picking at old wounds in the name of friendship. If you truly want to move on, you need to take Carlo out of the “Friend Zone” and put him firmly in the “Past Zone.

[Marco]

Well, a big part of the healing process is avoiding communication with an ex. They’re the person you’re trying to forget, but you’re still staying in contact as friends.
It’s not always the case for everyone, but in most relationships, exes don’t really end up becoming friends—especially not right after a breakup. It often just makes the situation more complicated.
If what you want is to move on, you should avoid them. But if you’re still hoping to get back together, then you continue communicating and even flirting—that’s really how it usually goes.

[Member]

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