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Please help

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    fallenstar212
    Member #191,745

    The guy I am currently dating I have known for a year and a half, we dated for 6 months, were friends for 6 and then started dating again. We went through a difficult time that ended our dating then he initiated it again after just being friends for that time. It’s been 6 months since we started dating again. The nature of our relationship is I see him once a week and sleep over, and we talk 3-6 times a week, mostly through text. We really enjoy each other’s company, he’s affectionate and when we go to bed he never leaves my side. He recently gave me a toothbrush to leave at his place (I know it’s not a big deal). It seems like we have made some progress but very VERY slowly. I always have a good time with him and I know he feels the same.

    I asked him what this was the second time around because I didn’t want to get hurt. He said he just wants to have fun and see where it goes. It was fine, I was happy. But the longer it continues the more I start to realize I want to be a part of his life…right now I just feel like he fits me in when he can. I have tried talking to him, he shuts right down and gets very uncomfortable. To the point where he doesn’t even make sense.

    How can I talk to him and get somewhere? I don’t want to lose him, I really do love him and I know I shouldn’t because he doesn’t feel the same…but I don’t want to just give up without knowing how he sees this and feels about me. We’ve been through a lot and he will always be a part of my life but I want to know if I should stick it out or let it go. I’m not even sure why he came back but it has to mean something.

    Thanks

    #25798

    First of all, don’t have “the talk” about the relationship. 😕 Guys hate this and it pushes them away. They feel pressured, and this won’t get you anywhere.

    Second, if you read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], the book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right (and which I recommend you buy and read!), you’ll know that when a guy is interested in a serious relationship with you, he’ll show signs. Some of them include introducing you to his friends, going out with other couples and not as a single when you’re not around, and talking about a future together. He’ll introduce you to his parents, and you’ll feel like his girlfriend, and someone special (and yes, the toothbrush does count!).

    On the other hand, there are some men (you didn’t mention your ages) who are ready and want to commit, and those who aren’t ready and don’t want to commit. Men have a certain age in mind for when they want to be serious, be married, have kids, etc. They have a certain amount of money they want to have socked away by the time they’re ready to be married. In other words, if you’ve found a guy who’s great, but he really doesn’t see a serious relationship with you (or maybe anyone) in his future, you just got him at the wrong time. Men who are ready for a serious relationship will let you know with their behavior. It’s your job to figure out if he’s Mr. RIght or not.

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