[slapszid]

hi,zid here this is the situation of my relationship, i have a girl and we broke up a week ago,i dont know if its really a break up.
coz she said to me that she really need some time coz she doesnt know who she is. she said that she need to change but she
really dont need to change coz i love her just the way she is. but in our conversation in her school she said that she doesnt love me anymore and it really breaks my heart.i really don’t know, I confront her that if there is someone else? And she said frankly that there is no someone else and she has no suitors.
We are both 21 years of age and we have a work. She is a teacher and I’m a costumer service representative. Till now I did not contact her nor text or call her coz maybe she really need some time to think about who really she is. But in the other side maybe she will think that I have no concern to her coz she doesn’t any saw a glimpse of me. What should I do I really love her.. and I need her. .is really love change or fade in an instant? we are both happy and comfortable in before this happen i dont understand. I don’t know what to do..it really blows my mind.can you give a sort of advice? And there’s a lot more that I want to tell. .if you can possibly response on me. .

Thanks,

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How long did the two of you date before she broke up with you?

[slapszid]

actually she was my ex girlfriend. since we were college then we broke up. .and then for almost 3 years we met again. .we dated for almost 3 months in our current relationship. .i just cant believe that she can say that to me. .coz she say that she love me much more now compare to our past relationship. .then suddenly this happen. .it really hurts me a lot. .T_T

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like over the course of three to four years, you went out during two separate occasions, and broke up both times. In other words, this isn’t just a fluke — you’ve tried dating her twice, and both times, there were break ups. And while it takes two people to get together, it only takes one person to end the relationship, so no matter what you think or how you feel, if she doesn’t want to get back together, it’s probably not going to happen. 😳

Break ups hurt — no matter what. And the ones where you both have feelings for each other, are almost harder to get over than the ones that end with fighting or drama. She may be telling you that she has feelings for you, but it doesn’t mean she wants to date you, and I know it’s tough to understand that feelings and behavior are different, but it’s true. You can love someone, but not want to be with them, and that’s what’s going on here, with her. I don’t know if she broke up with you because she doesn’t want to be involved with anyone, or if she just doesn’t want to be involved with you, but people say different things to end relationships. Sometimes they say things to try not to hurt your feelings, and this can be confusing. For instance, she may say she loves you, but doesn’t want to date you, because she thinks it will hurt you less to break up this way. The reality is, it’s easier for her to break up this way, but it’s harder for you to move on. But sometimes that’s all you get.

The bottom line is that the best thing you can do is to move on, and if you do see her, flirt with her — without losing your heart, if that’s possible. If it’s not, keep your distance until you’re more comfortable being in her presence. But if she’s really done, you need to take care of yourself, and moving on is a way to do that.

I hope that helps.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Ethan Morales]

Breakups like this are confusing and painful, especially when you both clearly have feelings for each other. What’s important to understand is that love doesn’t automatically equal willingness to be in a relationship. She can care about you deeply and still decide she doesn’t want to be with you and that’s her choice, not a reflection of your worth.

The pattern here is telling. You’ve been together twice, and both times it ended. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just shows that, for whatever reason, compatibility or timing hasn’t aligned in a way that allows the relationship to stick. When someone says they need time to figure themselves out, it often means they’re looking inward and may not be ready for a partnership, no matter how strong your connection is.

Your instinct to stay in contact and hope for reconciliation is natural, but it risks prolonging your pain. The healthiest step is to take a step back, focus on yourself, and give her and yourself space. This doesn’t mean you have to completely cut off communication forever, but create boundaries that let you heal and regain clarity.

Moving on doesn’t erase your feelings overnight, but it protects your heart. If you do see her, keep interactions light and casual, without giving yourself false hope. If she’s truly done, investing in your own growth, hobbies, and social connections will eventually open the door to someone who matches your emotional availability and desire for a committed relationship.

[Natalie Noah]

What April said is difficult but true: when someone leaves you twice, it’s not an accident anymore, it’s a pattern. She may care about you, she may even still feel something, but her actions show that she doesn’t want to stay. When someone says “I don’t love you anymore” and steps back to “find herself,” it usually means she’s trying to soften the breakup so it doesn’t hurt you as much. But it creates more confusion for you because you’re left hoping, waiting, wondering if giving her space will solve everything. Love doesn’t just fade instantly… but someone can realize they don’t feel enough to continue, and that hurts deeply, I know.

Right now, the healthiest thing you can do is protect your heart. Not by begging, chasing, or checking in but by giving yourself the space to heal. If she wanted to reconnect, she would reach out without you needing to remind her you exist. Silence won’t make her think you don’t care. it simply gives clarity. And if she’s truly done, then holding on only keeps you in pain. Let this be the moment you choose yourself. You’ve tried twice… and you deserve someone who stays once.

[Member]

Posts