[jtlovique]

I have been seeing this guy for months.He use to take me to movies & dinner then it stopped. I don’t know why. He says he’s not dating anyone. Everytime we see each other now is when we are sleeping together I always stay over night. I know when we are together our chemistry is great he can’t keep his hands off of me. What is really going on? I am to good for this but I miss him so. Will he ever be honest with me?

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like he’s not that into you, anymore. 😳 When a guy really likes you, he’ll treat you as if he really likes you. But because he’s stopped taking you out on dates, after a couple of months, you can infer that he’s stopped trying to impress you. The fact that he won’t call for days is another sign that he’s lost interest.

A good rule of thumb to use when dating is, that the first three months of dating someone is the time you should both get to know each other and decide if you want to continue seeing that person. The next three months of dating is the time you should decide if you like the person enough to be monogamous. It sounds like he’s decided that the sex is great, but that you may not be someone he wants to have a serious, committed, long-term relationship with. You shouldn’t feel badly, though. Not everyone you like will like you back, and not everyone who likes you will be liked as much by you. It’s just the nature of dating.

I hope that helps!

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[jtlovique]

Thanks so much I will not respond to him any more.

[AskApril Masini]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

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[jtlovique]

I am so confused my fellow will not give a straight answer. When I ask of he is interested he always respond with yes sexy and baby but I want here from him for two or three days. Then he never gives a straight answer just compliments me and often tells me what he is doing. I am so sick of this we have not been sexual for a while so why want he just tell me to go on? He also tells me how he misses me.

[AskApril Masini]

I guess you didn’t do what you said you were going to do last time you wrote! 😕 What made you change your mind?

As I told you before, he’s only interested in sex, not a relationship that leads to a commitment or a long-term, monogamous run. That’s why he doesn’t ask you out on dates, and just flirts with you when it’s convenient for him. It’s easy for him. He’s not going to invest in the relationship because it’s not worth it to him, but as long as you’re responding and he thinks you’re willing, it’s very easy and cheap for him to keep you on the hook. A call every few days is easy for him, and he’s okay with that.

If you’re really so sick of this, as you say you are, then why continue to play and then complain? 😳 I know this is disappointing, but if you pay attention to what he is doing, and stop hoping he’ll be different, you’ll have a much more peaceful life. 😉

I hope that helps.

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[jtlovique]

I know everything you are is saying is true. Thank you so much for giving it to me straight no chaser. I am really tired so I am done.

[AskApril Masini]

You’re welcome. If you read this forum regularly, you’ll occasionally see posts from women who say that they’re confused by a guy’s behavior, but what they really are is disappointed.

Have a Happy Halloween!

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[Ethan Morales]

Look, the signs are clear, he’s not that into you in the way you want him to be. Chemistry and sex alone don’t equal investment in a relationship. If he’s stopped taking you out, ignoring calls for days, and only reaches out when it’s convenient, that’s his actions speaking louder than any words or compliments.

The hard truth is this: you can’t change his interest or force him to commit. The only control you have is over your own choices. Stop hoping he’ll be different and start prioritizing your own self-respect. Walk away or set firm boundaries you’ll find peace, and eventually someone who actually values you in the way you deserve.

[Tara]

He downgraded you from “someone he takes out” to “someone he sleeps with,” and you accepted the demotion without a fight. That’s why he keeps doing it. He didn’t stop taking you out because he’s confused, busy, shy, or scared of his feelings; he stopped because he realized he can get exactly what he wants from you with zero effort. And you’ve been proving him right every time you show up, sleep over, and pretend the chemistry makes it meaningful.

Men don’t hide honesty. They hide intentions. His intention is obvious: he wants access to your body, not responsibility for your feelings. The “I’m not dating anyone” line is a smokescreen to keep you compliant, not reassured. He’s not dating because he doesn’t need to; you’re giving him everything a girlfriend gives him without requiring him to actually be your boyfriend.
You say you’re too good for this, and yet you’re acting like someone who thinks crumbs are a meal. Missing him isn’t love, it’s an addiction to inconsistency. You’re waiting for a man to suddenly grow integrity when he’s already shown you he prefers convenience.

[Sally]

When a man can’t give you consistency, it’s usually because he doesn’t want anything he has to explain. He likes the closeness, but not the responsibility that comes with it. And that has nothing to do with your worth.

You’re right you are too good for this. And missing him doesn’t mean you want this version of him. It just means you cared.
Will he ever be honest? Maybe. But you shouldn’t have to wait around for that. You deserve someone who doesn’t disappear between nights together.

[Natalie Noah]

This man is giving her just enough to keep her emotionally hooked, but never enough to make her feel secure, valued, or chosen. When someone only shows up when it benefits them, disappears for days, avoids real answers, and replaces clarity with compliments… that’s not confusion, that’s convenience. He likes the attention, the validation, maybe the physical connection but not her in the way she deserves. If he wanted a real relationship, his effort would match his words. Instead, his words are sugar, and his actions are empty. And nothing speaks louder than behavior.

And the heartbreaking part is that she already knows this, you can hear it every time she says she’s tired, done, fed up. The moment she stops hoping he’ll change and actually steps back for good, she’ll feel the peace she keeps chasing in him. Some men don’t let go because they care… they let go only when the attention disappears. And that’s exactly the moment she’ll realize he wasn’t a loss. he was a lesson.

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