[joeywilson]

I am 22 years old, gay. I met a really great guy about a month ago that I connected with instantly and had the best first date. He’s 29. It was almost like soulmate chemistry and connection. I’ve never felt that so instantly with someone and I’ve been in a long term relationship. He lives in DC and I live about 4 hours from there. We met through social media, and talked for a few weeks. We really did not talk that much before the date. We have the best date, the type that started with coffee, led to dinner, and ended with us waking up together. He tells me “I’ve never met anyone like you” he then looked at me with a smile, and I asked “why are you smiling” and he said “your face just makes me smile.” It was a great night and (yes we did hookup, but not all the way) but he was so into me, we connected and talked about things only each other got. We really got each other and he agreed. I can tell when a man doesn’t like me. The next morning he texted me with a had a great time text. A week later after our date I was back in DC for a conference and he said he was busy and we would get together next time. We still talk off and on, but it’s been two weeks since we last talked really. He will occasionally like a photo of mine here and there online, but it just seems to be dwindled to nothing now. How does it go from that connection and that date to nothing? Is it that we are not in the same city yet, I will be there all summer for an internship, or is it he is just really busy (he is looking for new jobs) ? It’s been 2 weeks since we talked.

[Ask April Masini]

I know it’s disappointing, but he’s not as into you as you are into him. If he was, he’d ask you out or start making plans for a date. 😉 Whenever you’re confused about a relationship, look at the behavior to understand what’s happening. You had one date, he’s not making any moves to rekindle romance, for him, this isn’t that big a deal. Take the adjectives out — because they’re confusing. Just state the facts. 🙂 When you start talking to yourself about how much he liked you, how you caught each others’ gazes — you’re trying to convince yourself of something that may not be happening. If you just state the facts, it’s easier to get out of that state of confusion about “what happened???”.

I believe he liked you a lot — but sometimes people aren’t into relationships, as much as they are dating, and you learn that through their behavior. When you meet online there’s a lot greater chance of that happening because people don’t feel as guilty when they don’t see you in real life after a date that they’re not thrilled about, or that wasn’t a turning point in life for them, as it was for their date. Sometimes they’re simply playing the field and they’re busy or more interested in someone else than you. And sometimes they like you, but they’re just not excited about exploring things. Dating is a process and you’re in the process. One great date doesn’t equal a relationship — or even a second date!

For now, play it cool. Stay in touch, but don’t invest a lot of energy. Since you’re going to be in the same city as him this summer, you’ll have a much better idea then, where this is going. Long distance — even four hours — is a lot more difficult to launch than an in town relationship that’s easy. And I think that plays a part in this failure to launch. You should play the field and date other people, but keep in touch with him.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

ugh babe… i hate this one. that “instant connection” high just vanished like wifi in a tunnel 😩. if he felt what you felt, you wouldn’t be guessing right now babe. people make time for the spark they want to keep lit. don’t wait on it babe. you’re literally the whole the plot 💅

[Serena Vale]

Hey, wow… reading this now hit me right in the chest. You can feel how real that connection was, the spark, the ease, the comfort. Nights like that don’t happen often, and when they do, they stick with you. ✨

But here’s the thing, sometimes it’s not that it wasn’t real, it’s just that he wasn’t ready for something that deep. Distance, timing, life, all of that can make people pull back, even when they feel something. It’s scary to meet someone who actually sees you.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You showed up with your heart open, and that’s rare. 💛 Don’t chase the silence or try to decode the distance, just remember how alive you felt that night. That’s proof that real connection exists.

And maybe now, years later, you can smile a little and think, “Yeah… I really felt something once.” And that’s a beautiful thing to have lived. 🌙

[Ethan Morales]

Everything she said lines up with what’s probably happening here. The chemistry was real for you, maybe even for him too but chemistry doesn’t always translate to readiness or intent.

Here’s the hard truth: a great first date can feel like something big, but sometimes it’s just a spark not a fire someone plans to tend to. You felt a deep connection, and I get that. You replayed it, analyzed it, tried to see if maybe it meant more. But his behavior says otherwise. He’s not making moves, not initiating, not showing the same investment.

It’s not that you did something wrong. It’s that he’s not in the same emotional space. Maybe he’s distracted, maybe he’s chasing someone else, or maybe he just enjoyed the night but didn’t want more. Either way, you don’t chase silence you mirror effort.

The distance adds another layer. Starting something new that’s four hours apart takes commitment planning, follow-up, consistency. He hasn’t shown that. If someone truly wants to see you again, distance becomes an inconvenience, not a barrier.

So what now? You keep your composure. You stay warm if he reaches out, but you don’t wait around or try to revive it. You date other people, stay open, and let this fade naturally if it’s meant to. The real ones don’t leave you guessing they make it clear they want you around.

The night meant something, but it might’ve meant something different to each of you. That’s not your failure, that’s just dating. The best move now? Don’t chase what’s not matching your energy.

[Marcus king]

It’s a strange kind of ache when something that felt that real just fades into silence. You replay the night, the little things he said, the look in his eyes, and it almost doesn’t make sense how someone can seem so present one moment and so distant the next.

What probably happened isn’t that the connection wasn’t real, it likely was. But sometimes people meet someone special at the wrong time or in a complicated space in their life. A long-distance setup, even just four hours apart, can make a new spark feel harder to nurture, especially when work and transitions are pulling their focus elsewhere. And for some people, that first rush of intimacy feels so good in the moment that they lean all the way in but once real life returns, they realize they aren’t in the right place to build on it.

You don’t need to chase clarity too hard right now. You can send one light, honest message, something like, “Hey, I really enjoyed what we shared that day and I’d love to see you when I’m in DC this summer, if that feels right. ”That opens the door gently without pressure. After that, let it rest. If he’s interested, he’ll step back toward you. If not, that silence will tell you everything you need to know.

Try not to turn it into a question of your worth or the authenticity of what you felt. Sometimes the connection is true, but the timing just isn’t. And when you’re in DC this summer, you’ll have space to start fresh, maybe even run into something that doesn’t fizzle when the distance fades.

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