[RonnieStenson]

I dated this girl for 3 years and I moved away for a year to another place. We were in love and I didn’t want to leave, but I had a scholarship in California. I came back 6 months later and it was like nothing changed, once I came back for the summer, she’s been saying that she wants to be “pals”, but pals don’t go sit and talk on the beach @ 3am. Im very confused with her. The whole time I was gone, we didn’t really keep in contact, but I felt like once I came back and told her that I loved her she would be already for me again. She’s going to college in a few months in another state also, so, I have no idea how this will work out. I told her I loved her and all she responded with was yeah, but she would say how much she missed me. I have the feeling she’s too afraid to let me get close again because she knows I’m moving back to California and she doesn’t want to get hurt again when I leave.

[AskApril Masini]

This is a tough time of life for both of you because you’re both shuttling between different states to attend college, coming home for vacation, going back again, etc. It sounds like she’s trying to hedge against getting hurt by this long-distance situation, by deciding that the two of you are pals — but having trouble going through with this relationship status. That’s why it’s confusing. She says she wants to be friends — for good reasons that involve her going to college in another state in the fall, you going back to college in another state, and your not being in communication with her while you’re out of state — but she likes you. This isn’t anyone’s fault, but you are in a long distance relationship scenario, and these are tough. I hope that this explanation of what’s going on helps you decide what to do next. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Member]

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