[tbill48]

My best friend and I(she is a young woman) have been close for ten years. The other night, she decided she wanted to make love. I never thought of her in that way, or in any sexual way, although she is my best friend and I do love her. I could not explain this to her properly . She did not understand. How do you handle this situation without losing your best friend of ten yrs?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t. 😳

Friends don’t have sexual or romantic feelings for each other, and if one of you does, it’s not a friendship any more. That’s for you to understand — not her. 😉 Sex changes relationships — but so, too, does simply having sexual feelings about someone. She may have been a ten year friend, but the relationship has now changed. Expect her to become jealous if you bring around a date or talk about someone you’re crushing on or interested in. Don’t expect her to give you honest answers when these situations arise, because she may be holding out hope that the two of you wind up together, and any thumbs up she’d give another woman you’re interested in, will sabotage her own chances with you.

I know it’s sad to lose a friend, but the reality is that most relationships do change, and you can still see her, but you have to see her differently now.

[Herry]

You said you didn’t “get it right.” The truth is, the girl understands everything; she just can’t accept being rejected. When you say, “I don’t think of you that way,” she feels like her attractiveness and beauty are being questioned.

AskApril said the friendship is over, but I say the friendship is now on a “ventilator.” If you gave her hope, you’re a sinner, and if you didn’t immediately create distance, you’re playing with her emotions.
AskApril is absolutely right that you can’t see her as “just a friend” like you used to; reality has changed. So give her some sp

[Member]

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