[stretch50]

Hello, i have been in this relationship and we are living together for about 3 years now. I thought this woman of mines was an up front person , but after three years i see different. She says she loves me and i do love her, but she has a major problem of sharing her feelings. I have talked and talked, written emails to her everything to get her to see how important it is to share her feelings and to love. I hardly gets anything in return. I am fraustrated and feel that she do not love me. She is living with me and her 11yr old daughter who loves me dearly. I don’t know what else to do, i want to end this relationship but its hard to do because i feel she is only here for security. Even though she says she is not. What is a man to do when his woman just will not show any love for me nor express her feelings. She wants to get married, but thats diffecult to do because again, i don’t know how she really feels if she want talk about it. I treat her good, but a man nees love to, its not about the sex, its just about true love thats all, and affection. I have also said to her, if you can’t love just leave, but will not respond to that or say she will leave. I show her love, and at times she will not respond back, she pushes me away within seconds ,like she is shy or something. A while back she told me that she loves me even though she do not show it. How can i deal with that. Every blue moon she may hug me and thats it. But will not say the things to me that i;ve known women to say to her man about what she feels and what she wants in a relationship. I need help bad, because i am about to go over the edge with this situation. I can’t leave because this is my house, if it wasn’t , i would have been gone. I tells her that it takes two to make this work and i can’t love all by myself. She will not put effort in anything i say. Could it be that she do love me but just can’t show it or can’t express it? Any advice will be appreciated……….. Thank you so much……… Vic

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve been very clear with her — and have done everything possible — on an issue she should really already know about! 😕 I think that you’re incompatible and that the relationship has run it’s course. It’s time to do the one thing you haven’t done so far, and end it. 😳 I bet you already know that’s the right thing to do, but you don’t want to because it’s difficult. Newsflash: the situation you’re in is going to escalate downward rapidly and become way more difficult than breaking up. Sometimes, ripping the band aid off quickly is a lot better than slowly peeling it off and pulling at your skin.

Good luck!

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

YEs you are so right. I have tried everything with her. Yes its hard to break up for one or more reasons. And i guess i care about her well being to much and her little girl who shows so much love. But i know i can’t suffer too. I just don’t unerstand how can this woman not show any love. ? I told her its becoming more of a friendship like relationship and she can’t reply or so its not. I truly thank you for your response. ITs like , its something missing in her heart. But can i say this?. At one time she told me she love her kids, but she don’t show them love. I say them because she lost her son this year and she didn’t show him love either. And i told over and over to show her kids love. I pray for her heart. She is the quite type of woman , don’t hang out or anything, just with me. When i tell her she don’t love me, she says she really does. I know she has an issue and thats disturbing. I would think since i have told her over and over that its not going to work when she is not responding to anything she would leave on her own without me putting her out. She has one family member her in louisiana and thats her mom. I guess she really expects me to put up with her no loving ways and just except her as she is without acknowledging how i feel. I will say this and close, she enjoys receiving love, but will barely give it. And thats what she told me a few years ago is that she was so use to receiving and not showing it back. Well its different with me thats for sure.. Again thank you thank you and i will do whats best for me soon……….. Victor

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The reason I think it’s a bad idea to move in with someone who has children, before you are married to their parent is because of this: now your breakup is going to hurt this little girl. 😳 You’re right to feel sad about that, but if this woman was cold from day one, she probably wasn’t a good choice for you to date, let alone get serious and move in with. Now, you’re just correcting that mistake but there are casualties as a result. 😕

The big lesson for you is to choose more wisely next time. Edit your dates. If they don’t fit the bill for what you’re looking for, let go and move on — and don’t move in with someone who has children until you’re engaged with a wedding date and a deposit made on a venue because the stress on the kids is hurtful when these things don’t work out.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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