[infraredmike]

I’ve been dating a wonderful woman for just over three months. She was just about everything I was looking for. After going on about 50 dates over the last two years, this was the one for me. She said in her profile that she was “spiritual”. No problem, right? Wrong! First let me say that this woman treats me so well. I really fell in love with her and her with me. Every aspect of our relationship is near perfect with the exception of this religion issue.

She tells me that she wants to spend her life with me but she feels that I don’t have the same spiritual belief as her and she doesn’t know if she can handle that. She say that she is torn between her incredible love for me and her core belief system. I try to understand what she means but, I’m having trouble. I really do love her and see myself with her for the long term. I know we’ve only been dating for three months but, I’ve never felt this kind of connection or feeling for anyone in my 52 years.

I’m afraid there is nothing I can do here. It seems to be out of my control. Any advise??

Michael

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

It’s great that you’re getting to this potential deal breaker now — and not six, nine or twelve months down the line! I’m sure she has wonderful attributes and you talk about some of them, but everyone has their deal breakers, and if your religious beliefs or practices are a deal breaker for her, then it would be nice if she’d be clear about it. If she isn’t then you have to take charge and walk away so you don’t waste your time with her. You have to be clear that your time is valuable and you’re extremely interested in settling down for the long term — with a compatible woman. If she doesn’t know what she wants and can’t make a decision, ultimately, she’s not compatible, and you’re going to move on in spite of all her wonderful qualities — because you deserve a woman who’s “in” 100 percent! 😀

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

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