Six years is a long time to be together to suddenly consider that the differences you mention, are possible deal breakers. I’m guessing that those differences were existent in years one, two, three and four of your relationship. And they were there when you bought a home together, and moved in together, and when he proposed to you and you accepted. The question is, why, at year five and a half, did you suddenly start thinking about the differences you’ve always had between you, as problems? The reality is that there isn’t anything black and white about the issues you’ve mentioned that have to be deal breakers. They can be parts of a healthy, happy relationship, or they can also be divisive deal breakers, too. It really depends on the couple.
I’m wondering if you’re bringing up these differences as a defense to his pulling away from you. You mentioned that there is no more sex and that he’s no longer attracted to you, but is to others, and maybe this is all really about his wanting out of the relationship because even though you say that he wants stability. His mentioning he’s attracted to other women, is not a sign of stability. It’s a sign that he’s looking outside the relationship. So the question is, do you want to try to win him over and get him back, or do you want to let go and move on?
If you want to win him over, there are lots of ways to get out of sexual slumps and romantic dry spells — which are all pretty normal parts of long term relationships. But if you’re really looking to leave, then the window of opportunity seems to be open.
I can’t tell you to break up with him or stay with him because I don’t have enough information here….. maybe some of what I’ve written will help you make a decision, or volunteer some more information that is revealing.
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