[Conflicted247]

I have been with the same guy for 3 years now. We have had some serious ups and downs, seperately and together. I catch a lot of slack for staying with him as people think I can do much better and I’ll elaborate in a minute. I love him like crazy and would do anything to stay with him. I have a complicated family and some past issues that caused turmoil on an emotional level for us. He detests my family.

He seems like he couldnt care less about our relationship and where it stands. Its usually his way or no way. We dont watch movies he doesnt want to or listen to songs on the radio only I like. He is a mechanic and works on my car for just the cost of parts so he thinks that cancels anything out he does. He has told me that. He loves staring at other women and often comments on them in front of me. He told me that men who dont do that in front of their girlfriends are whipped and I am just jealous there are prettier girls than me. He makes decisions without telling me, like going away to Canada for a week. I didnt find out until his aunt told me months after he sent his money contribution in. He quite often calls me retarded which I take great offense to as I work with the mentally handicapped. He ignores me for hours and if I dont respond within 10 minutes I am doing something wrong. He has alienated me from all of my friends as they cant stand him or he complains about them constantly when his friends are all partiers with minimal responsibity. He loves going to strip clubs which I am highly not a fan of only because he talks to girls on Facebook all the time. He’ll stop talking to me to talk to them or flat out ignore me. I just tell myself he’d be stupid to ruin what he has. He told me that I’d be no where without him and that all I will find is a loser like the rest of my area. Classic emotional abuse.

When he wants to be amazing he can be. He will buy me flowers, send me cards or cute texts, make me dinner, or just the two of us go out and do something. He can be really sweet. I cook for him almost every night. I do his laundry, clean his place, and make sure everything is organized. All things I think are part of being a girlfriend. His only complaint with me is that I’m either too quiet or say weird things and that I dont initiate bedroom things. At the end of the day after doing every single thing for him, I dont want to be the one initiating nor do I feel like I have to take on more tasks to keep him happy.

Im stuck and at a loss. It seems as if he doesnt want a relationship just the perks of one. I dont know that he’s worth my time anymore yet I cant quite let go…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re already in the coffin. 😥 This isn’t a man who is generous, kind or mature. He has a lot of anger and he’s directing it at you. But this post isn’t really about him. [i]It’s about you.[/i] You have to figure out what it is about yourself that doesn’t deserve someone who is kind, has a good character and wants to take care of you. Until you’re ready for that type of man, you’ll stay with this guy and he’ll continue to treat you poorly.

When you make the choice to be with someone is a good man, then you’ll know you have to leave this guy. He’s Mr. Wrong, and I know you know it. 😳

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Conflicted247]

Its not even worth my time anymore? He isnt going to wake up since hes going to be 27 and realize, Hey Shes exactly what a guy in a long term relationship should want?

[daybreak]

Trust me in this. The longer you stay with this man, the more doubts (self-esteem issues) you will have about yourself. Sticking around in the hopes that someday he “might,” “possibly,” “maybe,” “could” realize he has a good thing is wasting both of your time.

He has told you in so many ways that he’s not in to you. If he truly cared about you, he would respect your feelings and want to do what’s good for you. Instead, the man leers at other women in front of you, expects you to be at his beck and call, calls you retarded, blows you off to talk to other women on facebook, expects you to take care of all his needs and even makes you pay for your car parts? Oh goody!

The fact that he throws you a bone once in a while by saying something nice to you does not make up for the fact that most of the time he’s disrespecting you and emotionally abusing you. Run! Run!!!! Run!!!!!!

This is from someone who has been there myself and has held a lot of hands of girls in your same position. Don’t waste a moment’s more time. And don’t fall for it when he comes begging to get you back…they do that, but it really won’t get better.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The choice is yours. Stay and watch things degenerate, 😳 or move on and enjoy the opportunity to find real love and a healthy, happy relationship. 😀 You wrote in here because you knew something was very wrong and you needed the courage to leave. I hope you’ll find that strength.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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