[Anonymous]

I am a 27 year old female dating a 22 year old male. We have been dating for 4 years now. He is my best friend and we love each other very much. Problem is i want to settle down and have a family, but he feels he is too young and only plans to settle down after 5 years. I am frustrated and hurting inside because i feel am getting older and would really like to get married and start a family. I don’t want to stay in a relationship for more than 5 years without any commitment. You you know when you wait for too long you get tired of waiting and it might ruin what you have. He is a musician and is living for his dream right now. He doesn’t want to get a job, and just wants to make music. I live with him and mostly take care of him. I wouldn’t want to take away his dream of becoming famous, but it’s really killing me. It’s not fair that i have to compromise to suit him to make him happy while he does what makes him happy. He still acts like a mommy’s boy and wants everything to be done for him. I don’t know if it’s worth staying or if i should just leave. I really love him but i feel like i can’t do this any longer. I need some commitment….. 4 years is too much to throw away, we have been through so much together. Should i stay or leave?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should leave. 🙁 You are very clear on what you want and when you want it, but you’re not good at taking care of yourself. 😳 Your boyfriend is not compatible with you because what he wants for himself is different than what you want for yourself. Instead of realizing that he isn’t Mr. Right, you’ve decided to rationalize in your mind that your love for him is worth sacrificing your dreams for. Now after four years, you’re waking up and realizing that your dreams are important to you, and I can assure you that if you stay with him and continue to act as his mother rather than his lover and girlfriend, you will become resentful and bitter.

Instead, cut the cord before you get angry at him. Accept the mature decision that you want a life that isn’t going to work with him and move on. While he will be disappointed, he will understand and there may even be relief for both of you.

I hope that that helps — and that you find the courage to commit to yourself. Doing so, ironically, will make you a better girlfriend and wife to be with the right man. You should also get my book called Think & Date Like A Man, that will give you tips and advice for finding and getting Mr. Right. You can buy the book here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I know it’s going to help you a lot.

Let me know how things go — and please join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

Posts